Neurotic- h.s au

0.1

     Yet another restless night. I guess I've grown used to it by now. I turn over onto my side, and try to re-position myself and find a more comfortable spot.
     It is extremely diffucult though, considering the bed is not much better than sleeping on the cement floor.
     After what seems like years, I hear familiar footsteps walking at the end of the corridor. Then the lights flicker on and groans are heard throughout the hallway. I sit myself up on my elbows and slightly rub my eyes with the back of my hand.
     Eric, a security guard who works here, opens my cell door, and walks in slightly.
     "Good Morning Valentina, how are you feeling?" He asks looking down at his feet, avoiding eye contact. Everyone in here thinks I'm crazy, but I can ensure that I'm not.
     "Good- Hi."
     "Mr. Millard would like to see you."
     "Did I- Why?" I ask very confused, my eyebrows knitting together, creating a confused look on my face.
    "You're being discharged today. Don't you remember? You were just in his office yesterday?" He questions, he expression matching mine.
    "Yeah. I do, now." I respond, recalling yesterday's events. A soft smile spreading slowly across my chapped lips.
     "Come on then. We'll get you some breakfast, then we can head to his office." He smiles genuinely.
     "Alright. Thanks I suppose."
     As we head to the cafeteria there are many thoughts racing through my head. Am I prepared to live by myself? How will things play out? Will we finally be happy?
     "Here you go Valentina." Eric tells me as he slides a chair out from behind the table. When did we get here? I don't even remember walking here. I am guessing my thoughts distracted myself from reality.
     "I- Uh... Thanks." I stutter, tripping over every word that tumbles out of my mouth.
     He sets down a plate of food, well at least I think it's food. I never ate much while I was here considering the fact that I wasn't sure if the chicken was really chicken or if it was cat.
     I am quite anxious as to what is going to happen once I leave this place. I have been here since I was nine years old, this place became a home to me over the past couple of years. Where will we go?
     My thoughts are soon interrupted by Eric, "I will miss you Valentina." He says so softly, I can barely hear him.
     "Me too." I respond, emotionless.
     I soon finish my breakfast. Eric and I walk down the narrow, gray corridors to the main office. Screaming and small talk heard faintly as we do so.
     We arrive, and I walk into Mr. Millard's office and take a seat across from his large mahogany desk. His eyes shoot up in my direction as he takes off his reading glasses and closes the novel he was reading.
     "Ms. Price, how are you doing this morning?" He asks smoothly.
     "Good, you?"
     "Well, I would hope you are doing good today. Do you know what happens today?"
     "I can go?" I ask, not sure of my response. Maybe he changed his mind. Maybe he thought we weren't truly prepared to live by ourselves.
     "Yes! You sure can. We have seen a lot of improvement in your behavior recently, and we believe that you are stable enough to go back into the real world.
     "Really?" I question in disbelief, my mouth hanging open without me even noticing.
     "Sure. Now tell me, would you like to live on your own or with your foster parents again?" He asks casually, opening a drawer on his desk, grabbing an beige envelope and laying on top of his desk.
     "By myself. I can't stand them! They hate me and the feeling is mutual." I say, my tone rising a bit. My head aches at the thought of ever seeing their faces again. The hell those disgusting people put me through got me where I am now.
     "Valentina, don't say that about them. They helped you get better. So it's safe to say you would like to live alone." I nod slightly in response.
     "Well that means you have to get a job," he sighs, rubbing his hands together. "We will cover your living expenses for the three months you will be living alone. You'll receive a check in the mail every week, but we ask you to find a job immediately."
     I freeze. How am I supposed to work? I'm about to get released from a mental asylum, there is no way I will be able to find a job without people thinking I'm completely insane.
     "Now, you are probably wondering how you are supposed to find a job," he states as if he is reading my mind. "But you will eventually find one. You don't need a job that pays a lot, just one that will get you by. Also, we don't think you are quite.." He hesitates slightly, his face straight as if he's thinking, "stable enough to live alone just yet. We will hire someone to watch over you, but don't consider him as someone who watches over you, consider him a friend. He will be a professional psychiatrist, but he will stay with you six hours everyday. He will be there to make sure you take your medication, to keep up on your personal hygiene, and to make sure you're eating three times a day." He states seriously.
     "Is this guy serious?" Cole, my best friend I've known since I was eight whispers behind me. "You don't need anyone to take care of you, Val, you're an adult. You're capable of doing that yourself."
     I remain silent, not quite sure what I am supposed to do. I told my therapist here, that Cole, has left me alone and I have not seen or heard of him in months. I do not want to tell the truth knowing that they will take Cole away from me or possibly keep me in here for even longer. Cole has stuck me with since I was eight, he's the only person in my life that visits me here. Especially when I'm sleeping.
     "Tell him that Val. For me, please." He whispers pleadingly into my ear.
I tense in my seat, and clear my throat.
     "Mr. Millard, I do not need a person to watch me. I- fine." I say stiffly.
     "Ms. Price, they will permanently leave if they believe you have cured completely, but right now, you either stay here or have someone watch over you. There's not much we can do about that."
     "I guess." I suppose Cole left because he would probably have said something rude to me agreeing to this. He is my best friend, yet sometimes he can be very mean to me, but I love him nonetheless.
     Mr. Millard smiles from ear to ear. "Great Valentina! It's nice to know your socializing skills have improved a lot also. I would also like to inform you that if you have trouble finding a job within your three month span, your psychiatrist will call us and we will put you on Welfare." He states, making eye contact. "Now, let's sign your release forms, then you can take your medicine, and you can leave." He says happily. Is he that happy that I am leaving?
     I sigh in relief, maybe I have a shot at a normal life now. I smile slightly and lean back into my seat. Scenarios of what life could be like ouside of here playing in my head. I missed my whole high school experience, maybe now I can make up for the lost time.

--

     Mr. Millard and I tied up some loose ends and signed my release forms. I also took my daily medication, and I am now walking up to the front entrance of the building.
     My "friend" will see me on Monday, I hope he is nothing like my last psychiatrist. That man was a pain in the ass, let me tell you.
     I have to stay at a motel for a few nights until I find an apartment, which is quite diffucult to find in this area. I suppose my new friend will help me find a place I like and that I can afford.
     I make my way to the security desk at the front of the building and push my release papers towards the large security guard, anxious to get out of here.
     He grabs them from my hand roughly and scans through them to make sure everything is correct.
     He nods at me and I hurriedly walk out the front doors. I open the large glass door and take a small step outside. The wind hitting my face with warm refreshing air, a foreign feeling to me. I'm not even positive what time of year it is.
     The sun is rising over the horizon with light clouds blanketing the sky. Bright hues coloring the sky in a beautiful picture, the sky looks so magnificent almost as if an artist took his paint brush and lazily painted the sky.
     As my thoughts are tangled up in the beauty of nature, something startles me. I hear a loud beep and notice a taxi parked a few feet away from me. I quickly walk towards the backseat and get in. It smells weird, like old cigarettes and someone who hasn't put deodorant on in a few months.
     "Where you off to?" The man driving the vehicle asks with a thick accent. I am not sure where he is from, but he is heavier than average men, with short black hair styled messily on top of his head.
     I reach over and grab my release forms, searching for a hotel address. "The Swan Lake Hotel." I respond shyly, crossing my legs and folding my hands onto my lap.
     "Okay." He says casually as the car begins to move slowly and I look back at the place I used to call home. I have a bittersweet feeling about leaving, people were kind to me there. They did not treat me unfairly or discriminate me because I was different. It's time to start a new chapter in my life though. A chapter that is full of excitement and mystery.
     The building begins to disappear from my view and I turn my head forward, and look back at the sky, smiling because I am finally content with where I am and what I am doing.

-
a/n - I know Valentina cuts off her sentences, but I researched schizophrenia and psychiatrists said people with the disease have trouble expressing what they want to say and speak in fragments. I'm sorry the chapter is short, there's not much going on yet, but the chapters will get longer very soon!