The lost girl

Chapter 9

'You little bitch. How DARE you say that to me!' My new mother shouted, but she's not my mom though. I'm 8 years old and I've been in this hell of a home since I was 4. My parents died in a car crash and these two evil people took me in, just to hurt me and make me do all the chores.

I know this all sounds like Cinderella, but I was only here for a few months before they started to get horrible and then by 6 I had to start doing a lot of cleaning, then going to now, I'm tall enough to reach to stove, so I have to cook for them now too.

I told my mom I had to get a book for school, and when she said no, I insisted I needed it. And that has led us up to now.
'You ungrateful little bitch, we've done everything for you and we get NO THANKS' she picked me up by the collar of my shirt. 'Sorr-' I tried to apologise but she stopped me mid-sentence,
'Oh NOW you're sorry' she dropped me, slapping me too.

'I'll get you that stupid fucking book. But you will bow down to ME when I get you it, you don't deserve it. Piece of crap' she shoved me to the ground and left.
'Aww little issy, don't worry this won't feel like anything when I'm done' my father said in a fake caring voice. I knew what was coming, he'd beat me then throw me down the basement that's more a cellar, what have I done to deserve this.
I wake up gasping on the floor with blood around me 

I wake up gasping, not knowing where I am, crying, I feel frozen. Where am I? Where is he? My vision is blurry. It's happened again, was it all a dream. I need to get out. The only thing screaming in my head right now is to get out. I try standing up but somethings holding me down. My breathing becomes worse and I'm still crying hysterically. I just need to get out.

I hear my name being shouted. Over and over. Is he coming back? It doesn't sound like his voice, this one's softer and not thick with years of a nicotine addiction.

"Come on darling follow my voice. You're away from them. Snap out of it. It's me Pan" I hear the voice again, even though my own panic is drowning it out.

"Come on slow your breathing. In-1-2-3. Hold-1-2. And out-1-2-3" I try following it. I shut my eyes as it was all still blurry and focused on getting away. The breathing repeated a couple times and I opened my eyes, everything was clearer.

Peter was holding me, while Georgie had a large cup of water. Still crying hysterically, everything is so disorientated, I'm shaking. I bury myself further into Peter. I never used to be like this. Why are all my walls breaking?

"Good girl, come on. Carry on with the breathing in-1-2-3. Hold-1-2. Out-1-2-3." He continued. My breathing got a little easier but I was still disoriented. Please this is ridiculous, I literally feel sick. In fact.

I interrupted my thoughts by throwing up, Peter held my hair back and I crawled away from the bush I'd just thrown up in. Well as if it couldn't get anymore embarrassing. I'm just sitting here drained and down, will I ever be able to get away from them?  "It'll get easier you know" Georgie said while pouring me more water as I'd spilt the last one. "Really? How do you know" I looked into the cup of water swirling it around a little, before taking a sip. "You know most of us here had some pretty shitty lives before we came here, maybe not all as extreme as your case, but enough to keep us up at night" he said while trying to find my eyes. Can he not get the hint i don't want to look someone directly. I hummed imagine response, maybe it will get better. Maybe.

"I think I haven't had the chance to be a kid really. It's like I can let some of my guards down as I'm not with them anymore, but because of that My mind is everywhere. I have never felt so emotionally unstable, I don't know why all my emotions are rushing in at once, then they'll snap away and come back full force. I'm not used to people caring, so I've gone into overload and all my walls are breaking. It's scary and embarrassing, I just want it to stop" I spilled out my thoughts as I fiddled with a fallen leaf.
"Never be embarrassed by your emotions. Being in touch with your emotions IS a good thing. Having to cut off for such a long time results in emotional responses being scary. Your mind isn't used to being in such a vulnerable position. As you open up more, it realises it's in an unfamiliar feeling. We will help you and guide you. You will most likely feel as if you are mentally becoming younger- but in reality you are just letting yourself have that vulnerability to learn from that you never had- knowing that the consequences WONT be that of the past" Peter crouched to my level as he explained is pearls of wisdom. That seemed to have turn into some psychological philosophical babble, that make some sense but the more I think about it the more I don't understand.

I nodded, picking up on certain things he just said, I realise he's right. I do feel younger and more vulnerable. It's not a nice feeling but hopefully it will subside soon.

"Want a piggyback" Georgie asked. I nodded, "what do we say?" Pan interrupted. "Please" I said quietly.
"Good girl" he said.

Georgie crouched down and I hopped onto his back. As he walked along the steady steps were lulling me into a dreamless sleep. That felt nice, I was exhausted, just need to let myself slip into a deeper sleep...