misunderstood

[end]

She stood there for a while, with my notebook in her hand, looking through pages.

"You know what's funny..." she wasn't looking at me while talking, she was too busy with the words i wrote for her. "You were here, in your room, crying for me, singing for me, writing for me... while i was too busy falling for the misunderstood boy." her words slowly turned into whispers while her eyes were filling with tears.

"I swear... i didn't wanted you to find out this way. i- i was gon-" i started talking when i finally found the words but was interrupted by her. She slowly turned towards me and started talking.

"You were gonna say something? Pipe we both know you were gonna stay quiet." she was right, i wanted to, but i never intended to say something about my feeling for her.

"I didn't wanted to ruin your happiness. You were so excited over him, the way you talked about him... I just wanted you to be happy, i just wanted you to keep smiling." i said while tears started burning my eyes and making my vision blurry.

"While you were crying?" i opened my mouth hoping for some words to come out, but i couldn't say anything, i didn't know what to say. "You're my friend, my best friend. You know that i hate it when you put me before you. I wouldn't felt same way right away, but at least i would stop talking about him all the fucking time to you." i am her friend...

"Eva i didn't put you before me, i'm still in the closet even if i wasn't i'm your friend and- and you have a boyfriend if i came to you and said i want to kiss your fucking lips because i love you, and not in a friendly way, you would become weird around me. We wouldn't be the same, and i wanted to be close to you in whichever way i could be." this time my words turned into whispers through the end of my talk. I wasn't looking at her, i was trying to hold back my tears but i still could feel her getting closer to me. She put her hand on my cheek and lifted my face so our gaze locked. I could feel her smell and warmth all around me, she looked at me for a while and wiped my tears.

"I just would like to know that, my feelings were mutual too. Or at least for you to give me a chance to understand my feelings." she whispered to me while still locking our eye contact. I wanted to open my mouth to say something but instead i felt her lips.

I felt her lips on my lips and i felt the peace i never felt before. That moment has to be one of those magical moments from books. I closed my eyes and kissed her back like i always dreamt about, like i always wanted... like there wasn't anything to worry about, nothing to be scared of or nothing to think about. Like she wasn't gonna regret this tomorrow, like this kiss wasn't gonna make her cry...