I remember the first day I actually noticed her. I mean, we had attended school together our whole lives but I had never really noticed her. When I finally did, my life changed drastically. It was just another Friday at Jamesfield High School and everyone was excited about the baseball game that would be after school that day. It was lunch time and all of the baseball players were gathered around a lunch table comparing one anothers' statistics and telling lies about girls that we hooked up with. "Hey, J!" I heard someone yell from behind me. I turned around and came face to face with our coach. I smiled and high fived him. "You're pitching tonight, son. We need this game to go to Regionals and I know you can take us there." All of the guys around us cheered and even most of the girls that were in close proximity of us, also.
Towards the end of lunch, I noticed a scuffle going on a few tables over. She was sitting there with a book open in front of her, glancing towards the pages, while four girls stood over her shouting insults. "Freak", a blonde haired girl growled at her while the other girls called her names. She sat there, seeming as if she didn't hear the girls calling her disguisting names. Without thinking, I made my way towards her table. The girls saw that I was walking towards them and then they began backing away. She still sat there, still as a statue with hairing falling in her face, looking at the book in front of her. The bell dismissing lunch sounded and she began to stand up. "Hey..." I began. She met my eyes and I saw hurt, despair, and unshed tears. She tore her gaze from mine and bent to pick up her bag and as she straightened to walk away, I grabbed her arm. "Don't run away from your problems, talk to me" I stated but before I could finish, she was lost in the crowd of raging teenagers.
I stormed after her, barely catching a glimpse of the blue sweater that she was wearing. I followed her as closely as I could until I saw her bump into the door to the girls' locker room and then walk in. Shit. I can't go in there, I thought. I stood there pacing, trying to decided whether or not I should enter the locker room. I looked up and down the hall to make sure there were no students or teachers that would catch me sneaking into the girls' locker room and when I saw there was no one in the halls, I snuck into the room.
It was quite dim in the room and my eyes had to adjust to the lighting. As soon as I could see clearly, I saw her standing next to one of the sinks that lined the back wall. She was hunched over the sink, shoulders trembling, and her bookbag and its contents were carelessly thrown on the ground. She didn't make any movement so I didn't think she had heard me enter the room. I slowly crept towards her, trying to decide what I should do. When I got close enough to see over her shoulder, I saw blood staining the white porcelain of the sink and blood dripping off of her right hand as she used the razor on her left wrist. I could see three open wounds on top of marred flesh where she had obviously cut before. "Fuck", I said. She turned towards me, holding her arm which began dripping blood on the floor. "I am a freak, aren't I?" she asked in between sobs.
I glanced from her arm to her face, that beautiful face that was covered with streaks of mascara and lack of foundation in certain places due to tears that were pouring down. Her eyelashes were clumped together, she had snot running out of her nose, she was biting her lip from the pain she had inflicted upon herself and she was still the most beautiful thing I had ever seen or will ever see. I ripped my shirt off as fast as I could and wrapped it around her wrist and pulled her towards me. She fell into my arms and cried, she slobbered all over my chest and for once in my life, I didn't care that all the attention wasn't on me.
