Thinking of You

Laying restless, my eyes wide open as i can't get a grip of my thoughts, embarrassed of my dreams. In this late night dusk i see the world slow down, why must i still lay flat lost in my mind thinking of you? All throughout the day a wicked spell has trapped my brain, i'm acting strange as i only remember moments when i'm with you, why do i always smile when seeing your face appear in my head, my mind re-wired to think of you in secret.

I wonder what you are up to at this time, while i lay in bed are you out in the world having fun? I know im talking to my lonely self sat down in the dark, but i can't help but reach out and ask you. As if magic dust had been dusted around my room, I feel a special glow in my chest. When everyone is gone to sleep for the day, bodies shutting down for the night, my heart is still racing about when we last met with each other. That moment in time, reminiscing our gentle intertwined hands placed between us on the cold grass, i still feel the lingering touch of your soft palm, i still see how bright your smile was even in the dark.

Take me back by your side, i just want to be with you. Oh how i've missed your presence being around me, your usual encasing warmth is now a cold breeze across my skin, i shiver from your ghost. My thoughts are stuck in the past, I can never move forward as i dream of better times with you, when i wasn't afraid of losing you. My personal nightmare has come true in believing you may never come back, and i have to fend for myself, you no longer standing in troubles way as i cower behind, but now i'm in the spotlight.

Times have changed in the present, I watch through rose coloured lenses how we changed, but it's all useless knowing you aren't here beside me. I wonder if in another life we were made for each other, but i won't back down on my search for you, how did we end up like this? I hope in my distant future we cross paths by chance, but soon is not soon enough for my impatient feelings.

Am i the only soul who is awake at this hour, even streetlights have said their goodbyes and the stars above me faded into the background, beckoning me to fall with them, but it feels wrong to leave your image in my head unattended and alone. You're slipping from my grasp quickly, disappearing into the night sky as i try to bring you back to me, i can imagine you standing here if i just keep my eyes open, as if closing them will permanently erase your memory. I have lost all hope, i don't know how to fix this problem, will my anxious mind ever lead me back to your physical self?

If you walk away from me, start your journey without us reconnecting, i'll feel my chest tighten, no longer can i breathe, and no matter how far i run to you you'll always be in front of me, unreachable. I'll hide amongst the broken tissue of my heart and cover myself in the scars i left myself. Such sad ending of a deprived heart can be avoided if only you follow my wish, and that is to let me stay with you, i wish for you to be with me. We'll wander through the forest of our minds, trees covering a new part of us yet to be revealed, we'll dance through the shallowly lit sky, and all is well when i'm holding you.

I want to be with you, i want to be with only you. Maybe i will step forward and run to find you, across any plain to touch you, hold you one more time. It's my own feelings stepping in between us, the obstacle a hard challenge to pass through, but i see you on the other side, waiting for me. I'll reach for you one day, when my heart beats in the same movement as my steps, and my thoughts string together with each tapping on my foot on the ground. Maybe someday i'll find you, but in this night, you'll remain a figure of my imagination.

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Thank you for reading !! My exams have passed so i will now be more active and i have plenty more in the making so make sure to follow me for more coming soon!