Unlock the Past

chapter 1- prologue

Who I was two years ago and who I am now are two very different people. Who I used to be may look like me, but after everything I have experienced, if I met the girl I was today I would not even recognize her. Especially after the incident. Looking back on my old life, I can barely remember the girl that wore floral dresses that go below the knee, never wears more than mascara as makeup, and that never did anything extreme. The girl that never took risks, and didn't want to.

This change in me isn't due to a boy, or even worse a breakup with a boy. I'm not that predictable. 

I changed because it was the only way for me to survive.

I didn't change my clothes, or the way I did my makeup or hair. That's the only thing that stayed the same. My hair is still a rich brown, still long and wavy. My eyes are still bright blue. I'm the same height. The difference between that girl from so long ago and me, is everything else that made me who I was. I have completely shut that girl out and I have become a shell. I lost all hope of ever leaving him. But, after two years of being controlled, abused, and manipulated I finally escaped.

Ever since I escaped from him I haven't been able to re-tell the story. I have shutdown. I won't tell anyone what happened, and I can't look at anyone in the eye. It's what I learned while being away for so long. Don't ask questions, don't ask for anything, and most importantly; don't ever look someone in the eyes. I don't deserve to. Two years of these rules being engrained in my head. Two years of punishments when I broke the rules. It is because of what I've learned in the past two years that I can not and will not ever tell my story. 

But, I am able to recall what happened before everything that changed two years ago.

I was a freshman in high school. Just starting to get a little taste of freedom that was going to slowly get closer in the next four years. How naive was I to think that life would go and come easily?My life was going too well. I had just met the love of my life the month prior and I was falling deeply and madly in love with him. At the time, I knew Ashton was the one. There was no possible way anyone else could compare to what we had. We were still a fairly new couple so we hadn't run the bases, and being me, I knew I wouldn't for a long time. And Ashton was okay with that. My life was falling into place.

That Friday night after the first week of school there was a party. And of course, Ashton wanted me to go with him since all of his football buddies were going. Even though the thought of going to a party scared me, I said yes believing I would be safe with him. After school I went home to get ready, Ashton had football practice and couldn't give me a ride and my best friends Cameron and Lilly had already left. So, I started to walk. On my way I felt like I was being followed but shrugged it off, thinking that it was me being anxious about my first high school party. 

I made it home to find my parents still at work and my brother had already left to go to his job, so I let myself in and went to take a shower. While doing my routine in the shower I heard a noise outside the door, it almost sounded like heavy footstep. My parents shouldn't be home so soon and my brother worked till six on Fridays, everyone else that could be at my house would have announced their arrival. My body acted on it's own accord and I turned off the shower,  grabbed a towel and opened the bathroom door. I calmed my nerves by convincing myself that it was Lily and Cameron trying to scare me, which wasn't out of the ordinary. Steam came out as I opened it wider. Walking down the corridor that led to the kitchen, my once calm and reassured feeling left my body cold. I heard a creak behind me, and before I could do anything, I was blinded and sucked into a morphine filled state of unconsciousness.

March 9, 2019: 

I finally updated after almost three years. Wow. Right now I'm going to try to clean up this mess I made and hopefully finish this book. Thank you to everyone who has supported me and read my book. I wouldn't be back if it wasn't for you.