Stranded (An Andy Biersack Love Story) {1} [COMPLETED]

Chapter 78

Chapter 78

ShyAnne's POV

*One Week Later*

After a discussion with my doctor and my therapist, it was decided I do have post partum depression. She's been giving me coping mechanisms and mostly just giving me a space to be completely vulnerable and express my true feelings that I'm uncomfortable showing to even Andy. I'm forcing myself to eat more frequently and am taking melatonin to help me sleep. Eliza still isn't latching, but instead of getting frustrated, I just go get a bottle from the fridge and she calms right down. I can tell Andy is enjoying not having 100% of the responsibility and the overall vibe in our house is better. My mental health is improving, but still needs a lot of work and I'm grateful for a patient husband who is leading the therapy do it's work.

Elijah is still on his ventilator and not being weaned yet. He's a month old now and hasn't been held or kissed by his parents, hasn't spent a day outside of the hospital. We still go see him everyday, but I long for the day when he is only a few steps away versus a few miles.

We haven't seen anybody besides our parents since the twins were born. I'm just never up for visitors, especially since both kids aren't home yet. Andy rarely leaves the house in case Eliza or I need him, or in case something happens with Elijah. I'm excited to introduce our kids to the band and to Lennon, but I want our family to be whole first, I want my mental state to be better.

We walked into the NICU and his doctor approached us like he does everyday to give us updates.

"We have started his weaning process again. His lungs have had a month to develop and we're feeling more confident this time." He stated.

"That's great!" Andy exclaimed. I couldn't find it in me to be excited when I know he's going to make it off the ventilator and stop breathing. Nothing good ever happens to us. We thought we were going to carry our second baby to term but we miscarried in the second trimester. Why would this be any different than my shitty luck in the past? We were led into the NICU and sat on either side of his bed.

"Come on son, push through." Andy said, a hopeful look in his eyes. We left after a little bit and Andy noticed that my mood had changed.

"What's wrong?" He asked.

"How can you be so hopeful?"

"What?"

"What makes you think this time will be any different than last time? What makes you think our luck has turned around. You know nothing ever works out for us."

"I say our luck turned around when you gave birth to two beautiful babies."

"But one of them hasn't seen the outside of the hospital for his entire life! I wouldn't call that luck Andy."

"But he's alive, they're both alive and relatively healthy. Look, he's two weeks older then when they last tried. If you don't have hope, you don't have anything. This is a shitty situation ShyAnne, I'm aware, but staying positive and hopeful is how I get through it."

"This is why I love you." I smiled, grabbing his hand and kissing it.

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