DC: The Brave and the Bawdy

The Flash: Speed Limits

Wally West sighed as his eyes drifted aimlessly about the text on the pages before him. The blocks of letters explained the technicalities of various engineering equations. Wally studied engineering as a student at Central City University. Having worked as a mechanic back in high school and boasting excellent mathematical prowess, becoming an engineering major seemed like the clear choice. Plus, the chance to get out of his hometown of Blue Valley was quite appealing. Still, he found the coursework excessively boring. He often wondered whether college was even worth his time. These thoughts filtered through Wally's head as he scratched at his red hair in frustration.

"Still studying?" asked Iris, approaching Wally and placing a hand on his chair.

"Not really studying," he replied, "so much as trudging through-"

"Nerd!"

"Yeow!" yelped Wally over the sound of stitching popping.

Iris had reached into the back of his jeans, grabbed the red waistband of his yellow boxer briefs, and hoisted them up to his shoulder blades. Wally barely had time to reach back and push Iris away before she ran off. By the time Wally had gotten up and shoved the fabric back into his pants, she was long gone. Wally groaned in frustration as he shoved his hands down his pants to fix the wedgie.

Iris West was Wally's aunt, though due to their proximity in age she was more like a cousin to him. Growing up she had always been the cooler older cousin, but that never stopped her from teasing Wally mercilessly. She had kept this habit alive and well in adulthood, something that would have been tolerable if they didn't have to be roommates.

Wally's scholarship to Central City University covered his tuition, but not housing. Wally had gotten his parents to agree to him going by crashing with Iris in her apartment. Wally was of course grateful for the hospitality, but living with her certainly came with certain drawbacks.

One such drawback came not thirty minutes later, when Wally was eating a sandwich he had made in the kitchen. Iris strolled in casually and went to get herself a glass of water. Wally listened to her fill up the glass with water and then activate the ice machine on the fridge.

Wait a minute, thought Wally, Wouldn't she get the ice before pouring the-

"Yipe!" squealed Wally, a freezing sensation shooting down his back before settling in the seat of his pants.

Iris ran off cackling. Wally pulled the ice out of his pants and got up to chase after her, but she was long gone. She was always faster than him. She always got to him before he realized it and got away before he could retaliate. He wanted to get her back badly, but he was never fast enough.

Wally decided to sleep off his lunch by taking a nap on the couch. Iris didn't take kindly to him taking up the whole couch for his snooze, so she decided to rectify the situation. She wet her index finger in her mouth for some time before slowly sliding it into Wally's ear as deep as she could.

Wally's eyes opened in confusion, at first unsure as to why he was awake. Then the realization hit him as the sound of squishing assaulted his inner ear and he felt the unnerving ticking of saliva dripping farther down his ear canal.

"Hey!" yelled Wally, leaping up to a sitting position.

He made a grab at Iris, but she swiftly dodged it and ran out of the room. Wally sighed as he tried to wipe as much spit out of his ear as he could. He sighed and looked around for the remote. He figured now that he was awake he might as well watch TV. He quickly noticed that the remote was gone.

"Iris!" he shouted in frustration.

The day continued much like that until the evening, when Wally brushed his teeth and changed into his yellow and red pajamas for bed. He had class relatively early the next day, so he wanted to get a good night's sleep.