Self Destruction

The Beginning Of The Fall 

           Let's start with the most traumatizing day of my life .  I remember when I was 6 , I woke up like any other day happy and excited to see what the day would bring , My big sister Toyah made me a bowl a cereal after I ate I went up stairs and overheard my mother fussing on the phone .

   "He did what ? He disrespected my mother ? Here I come ! "

We all got into the car and drove to my grandmothers house .

*15 minutes later *

We pulled up and I heard screams , My mother jumped out of the car and ran in the house . Me and my siblings followed when we walked in we saw my cousin Randal getting beat up by my older cousins , my mother got him up from off the floor and told him go outside . She didn't want him to say goodbye to my grandmother because his eye was bleeding from getting beat up by all my cousins , She told his brother he could come with him . We all got in the car and started driving.. My mother pulled over and pulled him out the car and started whooping his ass , after she was done we went back to our house .

*9 pm at night *

Everybody was upstairs it was just my sister and I and Randal and His littler brother , Randal had a really cool video game so I asked to hold it .

"Yeah you can hold it but you have to come in the kitchen with me"

So I went into the kitchen with him and he told me to go into the pantry so I could see better So I said okay...

He bent me over and started to take my clothes off  I was too afraid to say stop so I tried to move his hands and he pushed my hands out the way . I began to cry in the mist of him taking my innocence..

After a few minutes he hurried up ad stopped...

My sister came and suspiciously

"What were y'all doing ? Why do you have tears on ur face ? "

My sister told my mother that we were "humping " I got sent to my room for the rest of the night .

The next morning I woke up and felt so disgusted with myself I got into the bath water that my sister ran to for me and I scrubbed and scrubbed as hard as I could . I started to cry and wonder why. 

*1 hour later *
I went downstairs and saw him smiling and joking around with my brothers , I wanted to say something but I thought it was all my fault for wanting to play the game . So I sat there staring at my rapist and I just ate my food and went back upstairs..

Hiii I know this dark and deep but it's not of real life stuff being written about !
Excuse any typos pleaseee
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