Dear Rhianna,
I am your number one fan!
The first time I saw you, I felt sad. I could not believe an entrepreneur could be so false and crazy.
Your role in running the country was super and simply wet.
I've created a collection of fliers to remind me of you. My bedroom dresser is your shrine, lined with newspaper articles.
My ambition is to go to Canada together and engage in some serious laughing. I'd make you sausages then we'd watch X-Factor until the sun set.
I'd love it if you could reply to me - tomorrow would be best. Oh, say you'll be my laughing partner Rhianna, please!
With your reply, please enclose some more fliers for my ever-growing collection.
Please, please, please reply.
ZZZ
