고통은 사랑의 일부이다

Middle Part of the Book

"I'll be back. I'll be back for you." Tears streamed down in her face as she hold her boyfriend's hands.

"Yes, you'll be back and I'll be waiting." He said as he squeezed her cold hands assuring not to make an empty promise.

Sometimes, I dreamed that night I left him.

Leaving me curling into balls with tears rolling down my cheeks.

Regrets?

Of course, regrets also crossed in my mind.

But if I stay beside him,

Will my dreams come true?

Back when I was a child, I really wanted to become an author. That someday, I will write my own story; The story of my life.

And when Chanyeol appeared, I wanted to write my own love story.

Only him and me.

Every time I saw couples walking in the sidewalks, parks, or just everywhere, it makes me think about Chanyeol. The giant with a big ears and with an adorable smile; That handsome giant that I fall for.

Is he fine?

Is he doing well?

Did he reached his dreams?

Did he became a singer? A vocalist in a band? Or a guitarist?

After one year since I left, we always called each other. The next three months, his calls became rare. I waited for him to respond my calls or reply my texts, but in my dismay, they were none. And so, I texted him why he didn't call me or why he can't and he just replied me with an only short two words.

"I'm busy."

Is that even a satisfying answer?

I waited. I always wait. But why? Sometimes I think he don't love me anymore. But that doesn't stay in my mind. I shrugged all of those and placed it with a 'Maybe-he-was-really-busy'.

I gave him space. I didn't call also. Maybe he was in his class, or he was starting to find a band, that makes him so busy, so I refrain myself for being exaggerating.

I thought he will not reply anymore, but he did. And I was so happy when I received his message.

"Can you not call me for three months? I'm really busy. Hope you understand."

And it makes me a bit better.

Yeah, only a bit.

I once asked myself why can't I call him for three months?

Even if he's busy, he must call me, or he will make time to call me because he want to hear my voice; because he loves me.

But when 'Hope you understand' popped out in my mind, I thought that maybe I will considerate him for now. If he wants that, I'll give him what he likes.

That makes me a good girlfriend, right?

And after those three months, I get excited. Not because I can now call him, but because I will be back in my country. And that only means, I can be back with Chanyeol. And that we can be together again.