Sincerely, Suicidal

Chapter Two

"If you want to soar in life, you must first F.L.Y.-- first love yourself"

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Have you ever had that feeling where all you want is to be swallowed up by a large black hole? You want it to suck you up whole and never let you go.

Yeah. Me too.

Here I was kneeled-down on the bathroom floor, pills and blood everywhere, sobbing, and a kid who has zero business being here come running in. He took a look around with massive eyes. I saw him murmur "what the hell" a few times.

I didn't know what to do, I was still sitting on the floor, whimpering. I had no interest in saying anything to him, so I keep my eyes on the blood stained tiles. Even though I couldn't see him, I knew his eyes had finally fallen on me.

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw red and white Nike sneakers, then a knee as the mystery boy knelt down next to me.

After a few seconds I slowly lifted my eyes up and was met with strikingly blue eyes, which were filled with concern. He didn't say anything for a while, just held my gaze, searching my eyes. I don't what he was looking for, probably an explanation for what he was witnessing. I'm sure I didn't look like the stereotypical suicidal girl.

I've never been into the whole all black everywhere thing. I like pink. And don't get me wrong, I love rockin' the leather jacket just as much as the next girl.

I guess I'd zoned out for a while, because a large hand was waving in front of my face, snapping me out of my daze.

"Hey, what's going on here?"

He spoke softly, with a deep rumble. It was kind of hot.

Woah woah woah, what the hell am I thinking. I almost just killed myself, and here I am thinking about the guy who ruined it.

Ugh.

"Look it's nothing. Now can you please just leave?" I finally responded, as I got up to run to the kitchen to get some towels.

He followed me.

"Really because that didn't look like nothing." he said reaching for the towels I was holding.

He grabbed one of my wrists, and started dabbing at my bloody arms. I hadn't even taken notice to the throbbing I now felt. I let him clean them up a bit before I pulled away. I would just take a shower once he left.

I took the towels back from him, and jogged to the bathroom. I had about a half an hour before mom comes home. Who knows what time Rob will get back; he's probably wasting all moms money at the strip club.

I got on my hands and knees and started dabbing up the blood. The kid, whos name I have yet to get, also got down on his knees and starting picking up the blood-covered pills.

"Look" I started "You don't have to stay here and help me clean this. I'm surprised you didn't run for the hills as soon as you opened the door."

He looked up at me. "Do I really look like that much of an asshole to you?"

I actually hadn't taken a good look at him. I took in his tan skin, curly-ish hair, and surfer attire.

"Well. To be quite honest yo-" He cut me off.

"You know what, don't answer that."

I chuckled. Then, I glanced at the small clock above the toilet.

4:15. Shit.

I quickly gathered the bloody towels, and dashed toward the wash room. I threw in the towels, along with some bleach.

I ran back to the bathroom to make sure everything was back in order. The guy had already done that for me, but he was no where to be found. I looked towards the kitchen and the front door was open.

Did he leave?

I walked towards the door and looked out just in time to see him walking down the driveway.

"Hey!" I shouted to him and he turned around.

"Thank you. For everything." I'm sure he knew that I wasn't just talking about helping me clean up the mess.

"Hey no problem. And don't forget about that pie. It's amazing; I might have stolen a piece on the way over." he grinned.

I laughed. "Well, I guess I'll see you around..." I trailed off.

"James."

"James" I repeated "I'm Madisyn."

"Well Madisyn, it's nice to meet you. Alive."

"Yeah."

He started to walk away again. Yet again, I stopped him.

"Hey, can I ask you a question?"

"You just did."

I stared at him blankly, "Funny."

He chuckled, "Continue."

"How come you didn't ask me why I tried to do it?"

He looked at the ground, and then back at me.

"It's none of my business. If you wanted to share, you could of. And you still can, if you want."

"I'm good. Thanks though--I guess."

"No prob. And, um, you might want to rip it up."

I was very confused by that. "Rip what up?"

"The note. You can't do what you were going to, without leaving an explanation."

He was right. I'd totally forgotten about the note I'd written to mom. Thank god he'd reminded me. I don't know what I'd do if mom had found it.

"Thank you again."

He smiled at me for a few seconds.

"Okay...you can go now."

He smiled again. "Bye Madisyn."

I closed the door, and made a quick dash to my mothers room. I snatched the note up from where it had been sitting. I didn't even want to look at it. As I was walking towards the kitchen, I glanced in the bathroom to make sure everything was perfect--it was. I then walked into the kitchen, near the trash bin, and started shredding the note into little tiny pieces. Just as I was finishing, the door swung open. I dropped the small remainder of the note into the trash, and whirled around, trying to be as casual as possible.

"Hey honey! How was your day?"
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Hey guys! I know it's been so long since I've updated any of my stories and I'm sorry. School has been sucky and hetic. Buuuut it's a new semester so hopefully I get easier classes. Cross your fingers for me guys!

I hope you guys enjoy the new chappie!

LoVe YoU ALL!!!!!

And on the side is Steven Kelly (lawwwdy) who plays James.

Wander.