Loving Is Hard

Chapter - 3

But if I sit in the rain

I can drown in something

Other than my own thoughts

-

Rachel walked out of the bathroom after freshening up. During the shower, she kept on crying. It isn't easy to recover from such a loss easily. How would you feel to lose someone? Especially when that someone is your soulmate, your partner in crime, your shoulder to cry on, and your daily dose of happiness.

She unlocked the bedroom before getting in her bed. She sighed, her lips again started to tremble and her eyes became teary. She chipped off her nail polish, thinking of what just happened a few hours ago. In the meantime, someone knocked on the door.

The door opened and Sarah walked in.  "Hey." She said closing the door behind. Rachel didn't look up at her. She didn't want her sister to see her condition. Sarah sat on the corner of the bed "Feeling better?" She asked to which Rachel just nodded, keeping her head low. "Rae, I know everything. Just try not to think about him." Sarah said placing her hand on Rachel's. Upon hearing those words Rachel looked up at Sarah, surprised at how did she find out? "I called Sean after hearing you cry earlier but he didn't answer my call. So I called Mrs. Harris to see what was going on between you?" She explained and Rachel couldn't hold back her tears. Once again a stream began to flow down her cheeks. Sarah came closer to Rachel to hug her. Rachel kept on weeping in her sister's embrace.

"Rachel you know that things always don't work out the way you want them to," Sarah said trying to comfort her younger sister. "Sometimes God's plan isn't even close to what you've imagined." She said stroking her hair.  "But I uh I uh... Still love him." Rachel said with a trembling voice. "Rae..." Sarah said pulling her up so said she could face her "Don't do this to yourself. You'll be starting college within a week and he won't be around anymore so you'll forget about him soon." Rachel wiped her nose, sniffing she said "But I never wanted things to end like this between us. You know how much I love him." Rachel said lying down her head in her sister's lap. "Rachel if you continue to cry I swear I'm going to tell mom all of this and I'm pretty sure you wouldn't like to see her worried," Sarah said.  "I know I-I I just need some time. I'll try..." Rachel said wiping the tears off her cheeks.

"You should have faith in God. He is the best planner. Maybe he has someone better for you, even better than Sean." Sarah said "I know it's not easy but believe me these experiences will just make you stronger. A better person perhaps." She continued "Just think about the future and don't let the past ruin the present." She said kissing her on the side. Rachel got up from her sister's lap and hugged her sister, "Thank you." Rachel said in a low voice. "You know before Austin there was this guy whom I thought I'd spend my whole life with. Maybe even marry him..." Sarah said "but it didn't work out. We ended it in a year." Sarah stated in disappointment. "But now if I come to think of it I'm quite grateful that I ended it because otherwise, I would have never met Austin. It was hard to recover from the breakup but the ending is so much satisfying that I don't even regret it."

Saying that Sarah got up from the bed. Kissing Rachel on the forehead she said "Everything will be fine. You'll get through this. Call me if you need anything." Sarah said tucking Rachel into the bedcovers. Turning off the lights she left Rachel's room.

Sean sat at his bed with his cell phone in his hand. He was thinking to text Rachel. Maybe he had ended things in the wrong way although he didn't regret his decision. He had been thinking of this. He wasn't feeling right about the long-distance relationship or maybe he was just overwhelmed over her admission. He wanted to talk things out with Rachel in a calm manner but things just didn't go the way he expected them to go. He knew Rachel wasn't right as her sister, Sarah, kept on calling him. He was frustrated over the fact that even his family didn't support him on this step he just took. If he had just put all the negativity to the side and thought this through things would've worked out. Just because he was stressed over his admission and pissed over Zack and Rachel's admission, he ended such a beautiful bond he shared with Rachel...huh!

Sean didn't regret breaking up with Rachel at the moment. He was just angry that why wasn't anyone on his side and why did everyone think that it wasn't the right decision. Lately, small things triggered his anger. Even the smallest things made him question Rachel's two years of loyalty.

Sean banged his phone on the bed and went out of the house. He went for a drive to clear his mind. As he stopped on the signal, he turned sideways and stared at the passenger's seat. Memories of Rachel in that seat started to pop up in his mind.

Flashback

Sean and Rachel were on a night drive. Sean held Rachels's one hand while he drove the car with the other. "Sean?" Rachel said looking out of the window. "Yeah." He replied.

"Let's play a game. I'm bored." Sean brought their intertwined hands near his lips and kissed Rachel's hand softly. "I'm totally up for it!" Sean said. "Let's just ask random questions from each other?" Rachel suggested. "Babe, are you serious?  That isn't even a game." Sean chuckled. "Well then do you have something in mind, Mr. Smartass?" Rachel rolled her eyes. "Well... I guess we'll just go with the get-to-know-each-other thing." Sean said surrendering before his lady.

"Okay, I'll go first then." Rachel said in excitement. "Hmm... What was the first thing you noticed in me?" Rachel asked, curious to hear the answer. "Well, the first thing... There are many actually but the thing that attracted me the most was your love. How you cared for your friends, family and were always by their side." Sean said smiling in Rachel's direction. Rachel leaned forwards and kissed Sean on the side. "I just love you even more now." Sean laughed "You go now." Sean said keeping his eyes on the road. "Did you ever regret our relationship?" Sean asked "Hmm... that's a good one! And for your answer, NO! I never regret being beside you." Sean beamed feeling content at her answer. Rachel smiled back at Sean "Your turn now." Sean said pinching Rachel's cheek "Sean what if we don't make it to the same college. Thinking about it makes me so distressed... I mean... Would we end this relationship?" Rachel got serious, praying to God that Sean says a big fat NO! "Rae, why did you even think of such a thing. Of course not! People work out long-distance relationships so well these days. And who said I'm going to let you go. We'll probably go to the same college." He winked at Rachel.

End of Flashback

Sean was pulled out of his thoughts by the honking car behind him. Sean immediately raced his car as the signal had turned green. Sean Stopped his car at the side. "Ughhh!! What have I done!" He smacked his hand on the steering wheel again and again. Maybe he has started to regret his stupid decision.

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