Short Story: Dazai, Osamu ⚠️TW⚠️

Y/n: The back story~

Constant pressure. A world filled with flaws. Such a delicate frame brutally beaten down, crushed down to size beyond relevance. In such a populated existence, you were nothing but the size of a molecule to others.

All your despair started from such a young age. You were raised in a malicious house hold, your father was a drunk, he tend to beat your mother a lot. Only 5 years old, you didn't know any better. Sitting quietly, trying to drown out the glass shatters and echoing screams whilst your eyes streaming a sorrow melody, your breath singing the tune of pure fear. One familiar night, you hear your mother leave. Confusion as to why this had never happened before from both your party and the demon stood in the living room. That very morning the words "she's dead." Flew into your fragile ears without warning, and it only got worse from there. Your mother, the woman you idolised had slid into the side of a lorry that night down some narrow country road, resulting in her fall down the hills and to the grave she dug herself. Your father went in the wind after that, and child protection services placed you into your grandma's care.

Almost 10 years later, you were 15 when suddenly your father returned from his rehabilitation centre,so you thought, and forced you back into his company. After a few weeks, you became his next target. Every night you would be bruised, both externally and internally. While he assaulted you, he would call you by your mothers name, this carried out for 3 years until it finally took its toil on you. So one night after your 'deserved' torture, you rang a close friend to come and collect you as you made your escape to the closest gas station. There her mother and herself collected you and comforted you.

A week after, when you finally settled in, you had the news that your grandma had suddenly passed from a heart attack. It seemed everyone around you were vanishing from your grasp far too quick for you to react. The next few years were rough, you were failing all your classes and you developed a reliance on party poppers (ecstasy) as your only resource for happiness. All was going well until your friends mother found out about your addiction and kicked you out as she feared her own daughters safety because of you.

Homeless and alone, only 17. You had become the very being you despised .

You spent your time sofa surfing, vulnerable to heavy drug use until you thought the heavens had finally opened up to you. A man in his early 20's offered you safety and reassurance, and an 17 year old naive to plastered kindness, you accepted without hesitation.

6 months past and everything was going good, you were attending therapy and you had hope for your future. Until this man who showed you such hospitality revealed his true colours. He was only interested in gaining your trust to sell you as his personal toy for him and his fickle friends. Daily, you were tied down and injected with lethal substances to make you more submissive. This carried out until your upcoming 19 th birthday, then one night you were blindfolded and put into the back of someone's trunk. You feared for your very life. Fortunately, these disgraceful men weren't in that side of the 'business industry'. You were released in a back alley, one of them held a blade two your throat and threatened you to keep your mouth shut about what happened.

These were only party punks who didn't have the balls to kill another, you were lucky in that sense. The next year you spent trying to seek help and refuge. Everywhere you went held strong hostile sensations towards you, no one cared for you or your struggles. It was time to seek help from a higher authority.