I walked through the thick mess of green. There was the most awful noise of leaves crunching under my foot. The smell of moss and trees filled my nostrils. The leaves rustled above me. The trees seemed to talk to each other in a strange language only they knew. The wind whipped kindly on my cold skin and made my skin numb. My hair blew in many directions making it seem like invisible people were tugging gently on my hair in different directions.
I had no idea why I came out here, the reason of why I came out here seem to have vanished into the cold blowing wind. I looked around the forest and saw the bark of many trees surrounding me. There was moss that climbed up the bark into the sky, and on others there was weeds twined together moving around the bottom of the tree. The bark rough with age scratch my skin at the touch. I walked over to the great tree in the woods. The tree had been there as long as I can remember. My own mother had once taken me to this tree. She had held me and cooed me gently. But now her memory is just a glimpse. I can't even remember the smell of her perfume, or the way she whistled when she cooked. All the little things that she did where gone. Forever.
I sat on the great tree and thought of all the things that bothered me. My father, who sat by that the table looking at the stacks of, papers that where arriving every day. He never left the house only to go to work, and then he would come home and sit at that table again. The fact that we were being kicked out of our house and the memory of mother too. The house was all we had to remember her by and now we would lose them. Or at school where I don't fit in and how and I am failing in almost every class. My teachers are worried and want me to go to the consoler. But I just can't, she's trying to get in my head to find the sad truth...that mother's death was my fault. They told me not to blame myself but I can't help thinking of what happened that night.
We were in the car driving down Edward Street. The tan leather seats squeaked as we hit some potholes. The crisp clean air whistled through the window throwing our hair back. The clean country air was fresh and had a crisp scent that made my lungs happy. Mother was happy and all smiles. But I wasn't. I was thirsty, hungry, and had to use the bathroom. My cries for these things didn't make her angry or sad she just smiled and told me that we where almost home. About the fifth time I screamed to her she pulled the car over at a tiny store. She took her manicured fingers and reached inside her tan leather purse. The purse was cream colored and had wrinkles on it from age and use. It had always reminded me of a prune or an old lady's face.
She opened it up wide and searched for something. Her light perfume and mint wafted to my nostrils. Her light perfume that smelled like hope and joy always made the darkest days bright. She pulled out a five dollar bill and then handed it to me. The dollar was ruff in my hands but still had a slight softness to it. There were wrinkles all around it from its ruff handlers from the years. The green paper had dark pictures of a man I didn't know. But I knew he must have been important for why else would he be on a five dollar bill?
After inspecting this five dollar bill I looked up at my mother whose eyes were a sea of understanding and kindness. She smiled kindly and said to me
"Go inside and get something to satisfy your tummy"
I giggled and jumped happily out of the car. I skipped merrily to the door of the small shop. I pulled the cold door handle. The door had many pictures of sales and cigarettes. The glass of the door smeared with hand prints. I opened the smeared door and a bell dinged above me. The sound lasted for a second then stopped as the door closed. The smell of pretzels and popcorn filled the room. The bright lights casted a glow on the rows of candy wrapped in decretive wrappers and chip bags puffy looking in the light. I walked through the rows looking for the candy isle. Then with success found the isle.
The smell was no different from the rest of the store but you were somehow able to smell the difference but only slightly. The many numbers on them I didn't noticed I noticed the names. I delicately grabbed one and started feeling it for breaks in it. The candy seemed to scream to me don't make me suffer any more take me. But they all seemed to be screaming that. The smooth paper under my fingers was slick and yet my fingers stuck to it. Then I then saw my mother's favorite candy bar... Resses. I grabbed that one knowing that it would be rude to not get her something. So I grabbed a Butterfinger, 2 Resses, and some water. My estimation was that all of it was about 4 dollars.
I walked on the shiny tiles. The bright lights reflecting themselves on the tiles and then into my eyes. My shoe's caused the floor to squeak as I walked up to the counter. The high counter went up to my forehead and my eye's just barley peeked over the counter top. I placed the candy there and looked at the man behind the counter.
His brown eyes were some what crusty around them and his beard was short and cropped. He wore a red vest over a blue polo shirt and black pants. His fingers were big and wrinkly and he seemed to have a very bad disposition. He wore thick cologne that burned my nose and almost made me cough. His hair down to his shoulders looked like it had never been washed. His eye's flickered to me from behind his book and he heaved a great sigh. His breath was like one of the foulest of smells. More horrible than the cologne. His yellow teeth showed slightly as he placed all the items in a small bag. The plastic bag made a rippling sound and whenever he moved it, it made the sound. He handed me the clear white plastic bag. The feel of it was like a slippery and partially crinkled piece of rubber. He punched something into a dirty cash register and then said in a sleazy voice
"That I'll be four dollars and twenty-five cents"
I placed the crinkly five dollar bill on the counter. I watched him as he took the money then placed it into the filthy cash register.
He handed me three quarters and then turned back to his book. As I looked at the cover I noticed the pictures on the front. There was a picture of a dragon on the front that was surrounded by dark red flames. The cover was ripped and frayed slightly at the edges from being read constantly.
I Walked on the shiny floor and then pulled on the cold door handle. As I walked over to the car I felt strange. Mother wasn't smiling and she was actually looked like she was in pain. I walked faster to the car. My breath misted out in front of me and then was gone as I raced on the hard pavement. My foot steps clicked faster as I neared the car.
I opened the door and slid in. I placed the bag on my lap and buckled my seat belt in. Then I heard it, mothers heavy breathing hoarse and crackled. She was clutching her chest and her eyes were rolling in her eye sockets. I sat there frozen with shock as my mother rolled around with her seat belt restraining her from jumping through the window. I didn't see anything else for I was running. I ran into the small store my heart pounding in my chest and the images of my mother haunting me.
"Call 911!" I screeched to the man behind the counter "My mother's having a heart attack!"
He didn't have me to say things twice for he jumped to his feet and grabbed the phone. He punched the numbers in and talk to the man that answered. I didn't hear the conversation for my heart was beating loudly in my chest and my blood pounded in my ears. I paced biting my lib as I walked on the squeaky floor. The man was watching me while he talked to the man on the phone. He hung up and ran outside to my mother. I didn't watch for the images I just saw where still stuck in my head.
My mind thought what had happened. It was my fault if I had been in sooner we would have been home sooner and dad would have taken her to the hospital or if I had not have complained we would have not had stopped and we would all be fine and dandy.
I first heard it. The sirens blaring as the ambulance sped down the streets. The sirens cut my heart for mother couldn't hear them. Then the bright lights flashed and they pulled in the store. They placed mother on a stretcher and then placed her into the ambulance. Then I ran out just in time to see them race away through the frosty air.
(End of flash back)
I whimpered a little cry as I remembered this day the images of that night were slightly blurry from how long it was but the night still haunted me.
