Friends Forever, huh?

Chapter 1 | the bane of my existence

Cole and I had been best friends for as long as I could remember. I'd taken it for granted expecting him to be my constant--always there when I needed him, but alas, I had yet to learn that things rarely last forever.

"We'll be friends forever right?"  I remember asking Cole, not even bothering to hide the admiration in my eyes.

"Friends forever," his eyes locked on mine, my affection mirrored in his. There's no distance between us. No walls. No secrets. "I promise."

❝Cole, I don't understand what happened between us, but I miss you. I hope life is going well...text me back?❞
[delivered March 15, 2014 at 5:30 PM]

❝I'm serious, C. Talk to me, please. Everyone's against me lately. I need my best friend back.❞
[Read January 13, 2015 at 11:45 AM]

❝I guess that 'friends forever' promise meant nothing?❞
[draft, August 17, 2015 at 10 PM. Deleted]

Two years later his promise hasn't held up well to the test of time. He's moved away--a long 19 hours away--and it's not as if I blame him for that. However, I do blame him for the fact that he's made absolutely no effort to return my texts. Or calls. Or anything, really.

I've spent more time than I'd care to admit, crafting any kind of message that I think could coax a response out of him.

Nothing. No matter how desperate my texts are, he refuses to respond to them. He's a senior in high school now--the same as me--and I can't help but wonder about him.

Has he made friends? Has someone taken the spot I used to hold?

Is he happy? Do I want him to be happy after the way he's treated me?

I shake my head, infuriated that my thoughts continue to turn to him when in all likelihood, he hasn't thought of me once. When he lays in bed at night, I doubt he thinks about our old conversations like I do. I doubt he ever cries because he misses me.

Of course he doesn't. He doesn't care--and that thought still stings. It still stings to realize that after ten years of friendship, I still didn't know him. I thought I knew him, but as it turns out, he duped me all this time.

Somehow, even in my haze of missing Cole, I've managed to navigate my way to Stonewall High School (Also known as where hopes and dreams go to die.)  A sigh escapes my lips as a catch a glimpse of the deplorable building that I'll be free from in just one year. I can hardly wait.

Why the hatred of my high school? Besides the usual--hormonal teenagers, homework that  makes you want to pull your hair out, and the overall feeling of insecurity and despair, when I'm in school I have to see Shelby Stace daily.

Shelby Stace is the most popular girl in school and my sworn enemy. It hasn't always been this way--a few years ago when she first arrived, we were practically best friends. She could have snubbed me to become popular, but she preferred to sit at my empty lunch table and talk to me instead. After awhile we discovered our mutual stubbornness. We fought over everything. Sometimes I wondered why I was even friends with her.

Then the boy she liked asked me to homecoming.

His name was Addison and personally, I'd thought Shelby could do much better but I didn't tell her that. Perhaps I should have. Perhaps that would have prevented the eventual crash and burn of our friendship.