Mr. Picture Perfect

When everything crashes down on you when you thought you're on the right track.

It wasn’t really my fault, was it?  I let myself drown into the situation and I cannot contain myself.  But tell me if what I felt was not right?  I couldn’t pretend that it was nothing… that I was not falling for him.

Was it just my imagination? My friends told me that he knew who I was.  Whenever there was a chance that we bumped into each other, I could sense he was looking at me too. I often asked those people around me if I was just hallucinating or inventing the situation. More often than not, the response was positive.  I made it a packed that I would always have a looked out.  Watching every move Jun made towards me.  Sometimes, I saw him staring at me.  Or was it because I wanted the idea, that’s why I believe in it so much, so bad.  But when he smiled at me, it made my world upside down.  Like I couldn’t move, I hardly breathe.

He became un-attached by the end of our sophomore year.  His girlfriend broke up with him. It was not a very good break up that was according to my source.  The girl had someone else. 

I saw him during those times.  As you looked through his eyes, sadness was all you could see.  Believe me; I wanted to be the person for him to cry on and to accompany in his weariness.  But I couldn’t.  Were not friends, not even close to one?  We’re just strangers in this world. 

Strangers.

Then he found another girl.

My whole world crashed.  I saw them flirting with each other in one of his favorite hangouts, in the covered court where his fraternity friends stayed.  The girl belonged to a different college because her uniform was not like ours. Okay, so it was a little bit of over reaction, but I just wished it was me.  But then again, I promised myself, I’d stop myself from feeling this.

When I was about to stop myself from being too attached to Jun, an opportunity came.

One summer night before my junior year, I found myself talking to the phone with Jun on the other line.  We were hanging out in Irene’s house.  By the way, Jun’s aunt was Irene’s neighbor and a close friend of her mother. 

Coincidence?

We decided to have fun by calling our crushes.  Irene got his number by spying.  They had the same classes together.  When Irene saw a phone number of him, she immediately copied the number and wrote it in her palm.  I had the phone number for months before I had the courage to talk to him.

It was not easy at first.  I’d never done such thing – calling a guy on the phone.  But my friends told me to do it.  We called him and he was home.  It was Irene who talked to him most of the time.  He was flirting, according to my friend.  We had fun talking to him. I promised him I’d call him.

On the same night, I called him thrice but he wasn’t there.  Later that evening, I called again.  I told him my name was Aileen (sounds like my real name though).

“Where did you get my number?” he asked me.

“From a friend who knew you.”

“Aileen, I’d really like to talk to you but I had to go somewhere,” he said politely.

“Oh, okay.”

“I’d like to get your number.”

Guess what?  I didn’t give him the number.  I promised I would call him.

Another day come, I was inside the house for the whole day.  I called him but he wasn’t home. I decided to watch the volleyball game in our village in the afternoon.  Next morning, Liza called me and told me that he called Jun yesterday.

“He was waiting for your call yesterday.  He even told his mom to give him the phone just in case you call,” she excitedly exclaimed.

“Really??? I didn’t call him anymore because I was outside watching the tournament in the village.”