Out Of Our Control (High School Shoey)

Ch 30- Broken

~SHANE’S POV~

~ONE WEEK LATER~

 I run my fingers through Joey’s soft brown hair as his peacefully sleeping head rests on my chest. The rise and fall of his chest is in sync with his light breathing while his fingers lie naturally on my waist. He looks so peaceful and relaxed. This is practically the only time that I see him not being held down by a boulder of stress.

 “Good morning, Shaney.” He whispers while opening his vibrant green eyes.

 “Good morning, Jay.” He flashes me a cute smile but I can see the pain in his eyes. “I know how it feels.”

 “You know how what feels?” he asks.

 “I know how it feels to sit on the edge of the bed with your head in your hands, wishing you could just end it all. But I know one day when I wake at three in the morning, unable to sleep, I’ll look next to me and see you sleeping peacefully beside me and suddenly the world won’t seem so lonely.”

 “Are you okay, Shaney?” he asks with worry expressed on his face.

 “Oh, honey, I’ve never been okay. I know you’re not okay either. Just tell me. Tell me what’s wrong.” His smile fades away as his eyes begin to water. I don’t want the first thing he does when he wakes up is to cry but I’d rather have him cry right now than crying at three in the morning when he thinks I’m sleeping.

 “I’m just tired. I am tired of all this death. I’ve killed twelve people in the past week and I feel so bad. I know it’s for the greater good but why do I have to be the one responsible for their death?”

 Now he’s bawling his eyes out. I place my hand on his cheek and wipe his tears away with my thumb but its no use because a fresh batch of tears arrive immediately after.

 “The looks on their family’s faces, the cries of the children, the tears from the ones left behind. I don’t know if I can do this anymore. Tenebris says it’ll get easier, but not for me. Watching someone die and having to take the blame for their death is something I’ll never get used to. I don’t want to keep doing this, but I have to keep training if we’re going to catch Mortem.”

 “Joey, don’t set yourself on fire just to keep others warm. You’re always doing things for the benefit of others but at the risk of your happiness. Sometimes you have to do something you’ve never done to receive something you’ve never had. You’ve never truly just taken a moment for yourself. Today is your day and I will make sure you love every second of it until the sun goes down.”

 “But don’t you have to train with Lux today?”

 “Yeah, but I can do that another day. There are millions of people who almost die but only have a near death experience everyday. I can save someone tomorrow. She has Lisa to assist her anyways.”

 “What if she shows up today to get you?” he asks me, doubting my plans.

 “I’ll tell her to f*ck off. I just want to spend the day with my boyfriend.”

 “You are seriously a handful. I’m glad I have two hands though.” He smiles and pulls me in for a kiss. I kiss him back as butterflies flutter in my stomach.

 “I know you already know this but I love you, Jay.”

 “I know you already know this but I love you, too.”

 “I know. You wanna know something?” I ask him.

 “What?”

 “When I was little, I always wanted the stuffed animal with the ripped paw or missing eye. That’s probably why I try so hard to fix you.”

 “Fix me? You think I’m broken?”

 “You’ve been broken since the day I sat next to you on the bus. I think that you’ve broken your own heart to destroy the chance of me breaking it for you. If you just let me in, I’ll give you a hug so tight that it’ll stick all your pieces back together.”

 “That would be a really tight hug. I’m not sure if I want it.”

 “Well too bad because it’s coming right now!” I wrap my arms around him and squeeze him really tight. He tries to wiggle and squirm out of my grip but he’s laughing too hard.

 “SHANE! STOP!” he shouts in between his laughter. He tries to push me off of him one more time but we just end up falling off the bed and onto the floor, causing a huge thumping sound. I hope no one heard that because it’s eight in the morning and we don’t want to wake anyone up.

 “SHANE AND JOEY! STOPE WHATEVER THE HELL YOU’RE DOING AND TAKE YOUR ASSES TO SLEEP! DAMN!” Joey’s mom yells before we hear her bedroom door slam shut. His mom is really not a morning person and today is her day off so she’s really going to be pissed off if we interrupt her “peaceful time” again.

 “I love you, Shaney.” He whispers while giggling. I don’t know why this is funny but it just is.

 “I love you, too, Jay.” I chuckle out before wrapping my arms around him and squeezing him really tight. “Dammit. It didn’t work. You’re still broken.”

 “You know what?” he says still laughing his head off. “F*ck you, Shane.” He gets up and hits me with a pillow before running to the bathroom. I chase after him but he locks the door. That’s all right. His ass is mine when that door opens. Revenge is a bitch.

 I know that was short but half of my fingernail on my index finger broke off while I was rearranging the furniture in my room and it’s bleeding really bad. My mom told me to stop typing before I get an infection from the “Nasty ass bacteria-carrying keyboard”. Those are her words not mine.

 I just realized that the Nicole in this fanfic is based off of my mom… well this should be interesting from now on.

 Oh and Shane is going to run into his dad soon btw. I don’t know what chapter it is though. Just know it’s SOON.