Some[One] Story

Trying

"My name is Mira. I'm kinda sensitive in general and..."

This place is suppose to be a helping group... but it just makes even more nervous... I just sit there, looking at my hands and trying to be as small as I can. I hate this so much.

"Keep going Mira! Continue your presentation!"

I don't want to do it... please, stop watching me... I just closed myself entirely until the end of this meeting. I went back to home, kinda stressed. I really didn't liked that at all... Time to sleep anyway.

The next day... I was just on bed, wondering why I choosed to live that far of my home, why I decided to study that far. I also have to work now... and I don't really like that actually. And to add on top of that, today, I'm working with people I don't feel really well with... But still, I have to go, I need this money to live. So, the time to go working arrived. I take all my courage and go, singing out loud when walking to my job.
Once arrived, everything seems to be nice. Things are going well without stressing me too much. But then. A rush. I tried my best to keep going, telling myself to calm down, that it was just a temporary rush, that itll be over in a few minutes... but I felt like nothing was working. I burnt some food and this was the too much. I start crying silently, trying to continue even if I was way to stress. Once the rush was done, I just went to hide myself in the bathroom, crying very loud.
I was so useless. Such a dead weight. I panicked in such an intense way for absolutely nothing. I couldn't even reach what was asked to me. I was such an incapable shit...
After I went out of the bathroom (I kinda stopped crying), my coworker just laughed at that. He laughed at the fact that I panicked. And then, I just start crying again, feeling so insulted because it wasn't even my fault. And I just end my shift, the eyes full of tears and definitely tired. I dont remember what happened after that, but I know that it was the first time I cried that much at job, but it was not the first time... I hate it so much being like that...