Begin Again

8. All Apologies

The next day, I woke up with a smile on my face. Abigail was due at 12pm and by the time I heard the doorbell ring, I'd picked out 10 different movies to choose from, baked a batch of chocolate chip cookies and made sandwiches for our lunchtime picnic in my backyard.

"Wow..." Abigail stuttered as I welcomed her in, "you redecorated?"

"Just a smidge," I laughed. She hadn't been here since I first bought the house. It's safe to say that before I moved in the decor was different, but not my style so I decided to change it around a bit. I didn't live here full time but when writing a new album, it was easier to be in LA where all the writers and producers I worked with were based. "Hey! I bought a trampoline! Come and see!" I giggled like a child and skipped down the hallway with Abigail close on my tail, giggling also.

It was fun to spend time with her like this. It was a rare occasion due to our different locations, and I can't say I didn't miss it.

I beckoned her onto the terrace and down the neatly edged pathway to the tennis courts. As we entered through the gate, Abigail threw her head back in a fit of laughter. "You're such a kid!" She joked, in between giggles, "Of all places to put a trampoline in your huge garden and you choose...smack bang in the middle of the tennis courts?" She seated her self with a bounce in the middle and I joined her with a huge grin on my face.

"The instructions said place on a flat surface and this seems pretty flat to me!" I shrugged chuckling along with her.

The next day, we decided to go to the mall. It was really busy and I was slightly worried about stirring up any unwanted attention. I was wearing my sunglasses but they didn't really cover up much of my face. A few people had spotted me and asked for pictures, not that I minded. In fact, it was great seeing the excitement on my fans' faces and I loved nothing more than thanking them for their continuous love and support, but sometimes it all just got too much. Sometimes I wanted to be that girl that nobody knew again, and to be able to walk down the street and nobody would bat an eyelid. But I never wanted to be that kind of celebrity that takes for granted of what she has, that isn't me. I'm happy, and I'm appreciative of what I've got and I know that without them I wouldn't be in the position that I am.

After buying a few things at various stores, we decided to head home having now attracted the attention of various camera men, asking me about my relationship with the "british heart-throb Harry Styles".

I felt my phone buzz as we walked through the front door so I took it out and gestured to Abigail that I'd better take it.

"Hey Beau!" I beamed, and I saw a look of recognition in Abigail's soft features as she grinned and wiggled her eyebrows.

"Hey Taylor..."

"What's wrong?" He sounded distressed and I was unsure of how that could be.

"Um...Taylor? We need to talk..." I had heard this conversation starter one too many times and it hit me like a ton of bricks. "My brother, you know, Luke?" He sighed.

"Yeah..." My voice had began to shake and I glanced at Abigail who was biting her nails in apprehension.

"Well, Luke told me today that he likes you and we had a bit of an argument over it," My eyes widened at this new information. Luke liked me?

Visions flooded my brain as I remembered the look on his face everytime I told him I liked Beau or that Beau and I were happy. He didn't look happy at all.

"I don't want to not be with you Taylor trust me, but at the same time...I want my little brother to be happy, you know?" Beau continued, "You have a younger brother, right? Ashton?"

"Austin." I corrected firmly.

"Right...Austin. So you understand? Relationships don't come between family. I can't go on like this if it's breaking his heart..." He mumbled.

"Beau. It's just a little crush, I'm sure he'll get ov-"

"Luke comes first..." He interrupted, "I'm sorry Taylor"

He didn't sound sorry at all. He didn't sound heart broken or even the slightest bit upset. Maybe I'd looked to much into it and that Beau didn't like me as much as I liked him. I wasn't good enough for him and I could see it now.

What if Luke was just an excuse to get out of it? I thought Beau was sweet but I knew from his online reputation that he was seen as a player and that he got into trouble a lot. He just seemed so different in real life that I'd always thought of it as a facade. A cover-up.

"Yeah...sure," I was holding back the tears now brimming and my voice sounded choked.

"I'm sorry," He muttered and shut off the phone.

Tears slipped from my eyes and Abigail rushed over pulling me into an embrace "Hey...hey..." she cooed holding me tightly in her arms, "He's just a dumb guy, Taylor, he doesn't deserve you."

She'd said this so many times to me, and I always believed her for a short second. But now, I was beggining to think that it was just me. Maybe I was the problem.

"Why can't I just be happy?" I wailed, "Someone always has to come around and mess it up!"

I don't remember much of that night after that. I woke up in bed and spent the rest of the weekend with boxes of chocolates surrounding me and Dirty Dancing on replay on my television. Of course, Abigail had to leave on Sunday and I felt guilty about ruining our weekend. She'd made me tomato soup and brought it to my room, reassuring me that that is what friends are for. She left not long after that, which made me cry even more and I was left alone in this empty mansion, TV remote in one hand and stroking Olivia with the other. Meredith was curled up at the end of my bed fast asleep and I couldn't hep but think about how simple her life was.

I was going to end up like some crazy cat lady that never left her house. I knew it.

Later on that night, there was a knock at the front door and I wearily got out of bed, not even bothered about my current just-broke-up-with-my-boyfriend-who-I-thought-was-different appearance and answered the door. To my surprise, an all too familiar boy stood there with his hands in his pockets, his appearance following suit of a blonde streak in his hair, a lip ring and a sleeve of tattoos on one arm. He had on a baseball jumper with rolled up sleeves, shorts and builder's boots.

"Luke?" I gasped, unsure of whether I was dreaming a terrible nightmare. This was the last thing that I needed.