Ride Or Die (Hell's Tribe MC Series) [Book 5]

Chapter 34: All In

Even with a pounding headache and after working all day today, I couldn't let you guys wait a day longer.

I hope you enjoy!

~Bucky~

"Are you warm enough?" I questioned, feeling a chill on my spine that I couldn't quite shake no matter how high I cranked the heat in my Jeep.

Carter let out a breath and fanned herself with her hand. "It's like a damn oven in here," she teased.

"Sorry," I mumbled, turning the dial down a couple of notches, even though I was literally ice cold.

I couldn't tell if it was because I was still adjusting to warmth after being locked in a cold shed for three days, or if it was because I was about to make the biggest mistake of my life and my body was trying to send me warning signals.

It was crazy— I knew that but I had to admit, Carter had a point.

I was madly in love with her and I wanted to spend the rest of my life with her, I knew that for sure, but I did have my doubts. What if getting married only pissed off Mick more? What if that only expedited things and ensured me a certain death that I wouldn't be able to weasel myself out of? I would leave Carter a widow at the age of eighteen, and all of this would have been for nothing. On the other hand, if it worked, and marrying Carter finally proved how serious I was about her and how much I loved her, maybe things would finally work out.

I was hoping for the second option because there was no backing out now.

I had agreed and now we were well on our way to Las Vegas, prepared to tie the knot. It would be a while before we reached Nevada, giving Carter plenty of time to back out and rethink things, but I had a feeling that she stood firmly by her decision.

"You're nervous," she stated, not as a question but as an observation.

I nodded, not able to hide the fact that I was quite literally shaking like a leaf.

"What if this is a bad idea?" I questioned, although I was pretty fucking sure I already knew that it was.

"Oh, it's a terrible idea," Carter admitted. "You don't think I know that?"

I let out a breath, suddenly feeling confused here. "Then why are we doing it? There has to be another way."

"I'm sure there are a million other ways, but none that will be as effective. I love you, Bucky, but did I plan to marry you after only a few months and while I'm still eighteen? Absolutely not. I thought about it one day, but I'm worried if we don't do it now, we'll never get a chance, but if you're not sure about this—about me, I don't want to force you into anything," Carter mumbled, her voice growing uncertain when it came to my feelings about her.

She still didn't get it—how much I loved her.

The only reason I even agreed to her crazy scheme was that I was sure about her. I was sure that I never wanted to wake up without her next to me. I was sure that I wanted to spend every night at home with her instead of at a clubhouse party, even if it meant we had to watch that stupid Kardashian show every Sunday until they got to season forty. I was so sure about her that I was willing to risk death if I knew that being with me was what she truly wanted.

"You're not forcing me, babe. I love you, and I've thought about what it'd be like to marry you more than you'd probably think. I just want to make sure that you're not gonna regret this—regret me, when you could have had New York and NYU."

I kept my eyes on the road as I continued to drive, cos I couldn't look her in the eyes right now. I think part of me would always worry that she would resent me for losing that opportunity by choosing me and if I saw even an inkling of that in her eyes right now, there was no way I would be able to go through with marrying her—no matter how much I actually wanted to.