The Irony of it All

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62 reads and nobody could comment one single idea to help me out? Seriously? Guess I'll just have to spend the two weeks to come up with something myself. 😟Disappointed is an understatement, but if anybody has any future ideas, don't be shy.😊

Enjoy!
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"Nat?"

      She looked up from the floor she'd been staring at from her seat on the bed. Her head was swimming with memories that she'd suppressed for so long, drowning her. Ultron had taken them all out with that mind warping girl, and now she was in Clint and Laura's spare bedroom, mind fogged, and staring at a half naked Steve. 

   "Sorry," he mumbled. "I uh, didn't realize you were waiting." He fidgeted under her gentle stare. 

  She slowly got up, instinctively pulling her white fluffy robe tighter around her and crossed the short distance between them. 

    He was a bit surprised when she wrapped her arms around his bare waist and pressed her temple tightly against his chest. It took him a second to respond and in turn wrap his arms as tightly as he could around her without hurting her. It wasn't like Natasha hadn't hugged him before, because she had on several occasions. Before Shield, she had never hugged anyone except for a mission. But Laura and Clint were both big huggers and so we're their children, so she'd had to get used to it. The only person she'd hugged besides the Barton Family, was Steve. 

    "What did you see?" He asked. She closed her eyes and ignored him for a few long seconds. 

     "You first," she said quietly. 

     He cleared his throat. "I uh, I saw Peggy."  He paused. For some reason, her heart sank at the mention of Peggy. "We were back in the 1940s, in the dance hall where I was supposed to meet her... She said we could go home...that the war was over….. It felt so real Nat. It was like a vision of everything I thought I wanted, but I couldn't enjoy it. It felt like I didn't have a purpose anymore. Buck wasn't there, you weren't there, the Avengers weren't there. And all I could think of was, 'If I'm here, who's going to save that little girl in New York, who's going to Stop HYDRA in D.C., who's going to help you guys stop Ultron?' 

     "So you saw a different reality? She dangled what you could have had in your face and then pulled it out of reach again. That's cruel," she muttered. She didn't see him smile gently, but she did feel his chest rise as he took in a deep breath.

   "What about you?" 

   "I saw my past. Memories I've tried to suppress."

   She released him and backed up, suddenly needing a bit of space to breathe. 

    "In the Red Room, they have this graduation ceremony. It's the last test. They uh…" She took a deep breath as she tried to fight the hot tears burning her eyes and closing her throat. "They sterilized me. It's necessary. I mean you already know why they call me Black Widow. So, in a way, I'm grateful, because I don't know what I would have done if…” She swallowed and shook her head. She didn’t need to finish that sentence for Steve to understand. “I was awake through the whole thing. The test is that you can’t scream, or make noise. You just have to take it. I was the second one to survive in the last 70 plus years.” She took a deep breath. “Some girls make it through the training just to die on that operating table.” Looking around the bedroom, she laughed. “When I was little, I used to imagine having my Mom and Dad back. I can’t even remember them really, but I used to pretend that we’d all be together on a farm, and I’d have horses, and a cat. After the graduation, I didn’t let myself imagine anymore. And now, now I don’t know why I wish I could have a family like Clint does. I don’t deserve one. I don’t even want to actually be a mother. I just…”