Artist Love Better | Jensoo

Chapter 13: I Do

The sound of the rain outside woke Jisoo up; she brought her hand to her face and pressed her eyes. It took only a few seconds for the first signs of a massive headache to show up. She knew it wasn't because of the alcohol consumption, but because of the amount of tears and memories revisited only a few hours ago. She couldn't quite figure out if that had indeed happened or if it was only a very weird dream, but the sound of someone breathing next to her brought the confirmation she needed.

Jennie was peacefully sleeping by the raven's side; the calm breathing and serene expression brought a shy smile to Jisoo's face. She lightly trailed her fingers over the girl's chubby cheeks, releasing a deep breath as she moved her body away and stood up. She walked to the kitchen and leaned over the counter, burying her head in her hands. She felt lighter in a way, but on the other hand she felt guilty. Once again, Jennie was nothing but nice to her and she shut her out with no explanation, nothing. Thankfully, the girl didn't give up on her, she thought. But the sound of the brunette's paced breaths coming from her bed scared her to the point of feeling her heart beating fast.

She poured some water in a glass and took a few sips from it. With every minute, more and more details from the conversation she had with Jennie a few hours ago would come back to her. She told her everything, she showed her why she was so scared , how badly she had been hurt. She felt torn apart, as if telling Jennie everything she had been through made all the wounds reopen and start to bleed again. She felt more scared than ever. Even though her brain tried and tried to reach out for some reason, she couldn't just let go. She was scared of being hurt again, even though Jennie had been giving her so many reasons to trust her. She was right there, only a few steps away. She stayed with her, she didn't say no and she could have.

Jisoo felt something for her. She liked her and this very fact was making her feel even more scared. She was terrified of the pain; she didn't even feel like her wounds had properly healed yet. She was overwhelmed with feelings, with fear and at the same time, with hope. Hope that maybe this time things will be different. She missed loving and feeling loved, she missed having someone next to her, she missed the human contact. It was like a fierce battle was being fought inside her head and both sides were losing.

She couldn't control the tears that flooded her face and ran down her cheeks; it was like she was releasing all the pressure that was trapped inside of her. It was the first time she spoke about her past with anyone other than Lisa and, in a way, it felt good. She couldn't tell if the tears she was shedding were of relief or pain but she thought it was probably both.

Jisoo watched as Jennie moved about on the bed and sat up, rubbing her eyes. She lowered her head to try and hide her face as the girl stood up and walked towards her.

"Jisoo? Are you ok?" Jennie asked.

"I'm fine." She said, her voice trembling with tears. "I just needed some water, I'll go back to bed in a second."

"You're crying." The brunette pointed out as she walked further closer to Jisoo.

"I... I'm sorry, I didn't mean to wake you up." She replied, raising her head, allowing Jennie to see her swollen eyes.

"Oh Chu..." Jennie breathed out when she saw the girl's face.

"I'm so scared... So fucking scared, Jennie." She said, sobbing and lowering her head again.

Jennie took another step and stood only a few inches away from Jisoo. She wanted to hug her, to hold her in her arms and reassure her. She wanted to protect her and show her that everything would be alright but, she couldn't be sure of that. Taking another step, she placed her hands on the raven's cheeks and touched the girl's forehead with her own. She could feel the scent of Jisoo's tears as the girl still looked at the floor. She took a deep breath as if she was gathering courage and brought her hand to the raven's chin, raising her face and meeting her gaze. Jisoo's swollen eyes and scared expression made Jennie's heart break a little. She felt an urge to show her that she was there now and she wasn't going anywhere. She started to move her head forwards, getting even closer to the raven but she stopped herself as the girl took a deep breath, preparing to say something.