BLURRY MIND

Love or Friendship

Entry #2

     

  

      Ano nga ba ang mas mahalaga? Friendship or love? A lot of people who happened to fall in with their friends or worst best friend. Paano nga ba natin gagawan ng paraan yung ganitong sitwasyon? Karamihan naman siguro dumaan sa ganito.

      Actually I've been in love with my best friend before and wala din akong lakas ng loob para umamin sa kanya until now. Yung time na nalaman ko na I have those weird emotions pag nakikita o nakakasama kahit na naiisip ko lang siya 2nd year high school ako nung na feel ko yun I'm so scared kasi hindi ko lang siya bestfriend but she's a girl too kaya parang ang hirap. Matagal kong tinago yung feelings ko for her kasi ayoko masira yung friendship at ayoko na magiba yung tingin naiya saakin kasi since then alam ko na straight siya akala ko nga yun na yung mas worst dun pero meron pa pala, hindi ko alam at the time na naguusap sila ng brother ko we have the same circle of friends kasi naman 1 year lang ang tanda sakin ng brother ko nakakatawa na lang kasi pareho pala kami ng nagugustuhan, it sucks right?

      Kaya mas lalo ko tinago yung feelings ko kasi ayoko na makagulo sa kanila lalo na nung naging sila officially. Masakit sobra yung tipong magkakasama kami na dati sakin siya lagi nakatabi yung sakin lang siya sweet pero sa isang iglap sa ib na yung atensyon niya much worst sa brother ko pa. Time passed hindi sila nag work ng brother ko and decided to end things between them alam mo yung feeling na malungkot ka kasi malungkot siya but at the same time masaya ka kasi kahit impossible nagkaroon ka ng hope maybe I have a chance, I waited n maging okay siya tapos nung time na sinabi ko sa sarili ko na aamin na ako eh bigla siya tumawag na may important thing siyang sasabihin sakin kinakabahan ako pero yung kaba napalitan ng another heartache nung inamin niya na sinagot na niya yung matagal na niyang crush sa school nila. Kahit masakit sinuportahan ko siya kasi I can see na mahal na mahal niya yung guy mas minahan niya kesa sa brother ko at mas pinili niya kesa sa friendship namin. I don't know when it happened but one day she message me and she's mad at me about something na hindi ko alam she said na nakikioag flirt or in her own words na nilalandi ko daw yung boyfriend niya, I was shocked kasi one time ko lang nakausap yung guys kaya di ko alam saan niy nakuha ying idea na sinasabi niya clueless ako so I was starting to get mad kasi why would I do that eh kung siya yung gusto ko and never ko naisip na man landi ng jowa ng iba I would never to that kung alam ko na siya yung masasaktan ko. I think to na nag start na lumayo yung loob niya sa akin. Before she's getting jealous sa isa pa namin na bestfriend pag yun yung lagi ko kasama or yung yung binibigyan ko ng attention to the point na nagseselosan at nagaagawan sila sa attention ko but after that flirting issue she act like I'm not her best friend at all. Sa sakit at dissapointment hind ko na din siya inabala pa hanggang ngayon hindi na kmi tulad ng dati at hindi ko na din inamin pa kung ano yung nararamdaman ko.

      I think we are all scared to admit our feelings to our friends or best friend because we are so scared to lose that connection with someone na buong buhay natin eh tinuring natin na human diary or our securityblanket or we are scared that they will look at us differently. We're lucky if they feel the same.

      Kayo what do you think about it? Or do you have the same story as mine falling for your best friend but didn't have the courage to tell them or you admit it and have a happy ending? 

      Kahit na ganun I love LOVE I think love have its own way to connect people, parang galaxy lang we don't know anything about it or every side of it. Walang katapusan hindi mo alam kung magwwork ba o hindi. Kung knino ka mahuhulog o isa lang ba siyang lesson na dadaan.  We can't predict what's going to happen.

       Tell mo your own story kung di ka comfortable with sharing it sa comment pm me I love hearing people's own love story its refreshing so please you can share it with me *giggles*

        To all the people who have their happy ending or have someone right now treasure every seconds with them because we don't know what would happen tomorrow or in the future we have to live with " I did my Best and give them my all " than with " What if's ". Its okay to be scared and its okay to cry if it didn't work out the way we want it with love its okay to be afraid it doesn't mean you're weak you are a human being who have emotions and we can't stop those feelings we just have to embrace it.

       Thank you for reading "Blurry Mind" I hope you guys find it helpful or feel that you're not alone if you feel the same thing. If you are having problems and no one to talk to pm me I don't know if i have answers to all your questions but I'll try to answer them or just be someone to listen.

        I didn't proofread it and sorry sa mga typos or grammatical error.  Hope you'll like it.  If you want to read more of my work follow me and read my other books.  But if you don't like it okay lang din 😁

       Again I want to thank you all for reading my book ❤ God bless and Take care everyone 😊

-Jen💛