When I was three
I had to leave the park
and I cried.
I begged to stay
but to no avail.
I went home.
When I was five
I did not want
to take my nap
and I cried.
I fought my heavy lids,
but slept within minutes.
When I was seven
my daddy called me fat
and I cried.
I did not quite understand
but I knew even so.
When I was eight
my daddy hit me
and I cried.
Even as he kicked me
I swore he loved me.
When I was twelve
kids at school called me whale
and I cried.
I pushed away plates.
I did not eat a bite.
When I was 13
boys stared at my body
like hungry wolves
and I cried.
I still did not feel whole.
I still was not beautiful.
When I was fourteen
a boy forced his hands on me
and I cried.
I bit my lip.
I planned my death.
When I was fifteen
I took a blade
to the soft skin of my thigh
and I cried.
I watched my own blood drip to the floor.
I was nothing at all.
When I was sixteen
I felt so little
I wasn't sure I felt anything at all
and I cried.
