This boy is one of the most recent people I've met but also one of the fastest to go. He made me so happy. Loverboy, you have left your mark on me. Thank you. You were the sweetest, most loving boy I've ever met and I wish our paths crossed for longer. You comforted me when no one else was there to comfort me. You cared about me when my friends left me on read. What messed it up was when I told you I felt this way. I'm sorry loverboy. I knew you felt the opposite but I ignored it because my heart was beating for you too loud. I think about you often. I wish we were still friends if anything. I miss what we had, but I went too overboard so it's really just my fault.
There's just something about you that was different from the rest. You made me smile when other boys just made me cry. But after you left, you become one of those other boys. Just thinking about you gives me joy and sadness. We were different from each other but not opposite enough to attract.
You gave me hope in boys. That I wouldn't be disrespected and hurt by them anymore because you showed me differently. I grew up hating boys and you changed that in a short amount of time.
If only you knew how my face lit up when I saw your notification pop up on my phone. If only you knew how much happiness you brought my life. If only you knew how many butterflies the sound of your voice gave me. If only you knew the way you made me feel like no other. If only you knew that I care about you more than ever she will.
I texted your number saying that I didn't know why I liked you in the first place and I said bye to you. But that was a blatant lie. I miss you over any crush I've had in my life. You were just different, even though you barely recognize it. I've liked so many boys in my life but you stuck in my mind the longest. I went the extra mile when I was snapping you. I complimented you a lot. You are perfect, loverboy, and that's probably why I love you.
I tried to show you that I was fine. I acted fine when you said "I like someone else" and "I just like her as a friend." But that crushed me. My head was in fantasy land and I wish it stayed there but reality slapped me.
Sometimes I stay up at night and think to myself "Oh I forgot to tell him goodnight" but then I remember I don't have you anymore. Then I think about you and wonder what I did wrong.
What was it loverboy? What made you not feel the same? You said you don't hate me but why did you delete me? Was I too much of an issue? Were my feelings too strong and they repelled you away?
Loverboy I could spend hours and hours talking about you, but there's no use if you don't feel the same way. This is a waste of time and it's very unhealthy.
We shouldn't have met. I'm sorry for loving you, Loverboy.
Sincerely,
Someone that wishes they could have been your lovergirl.
Songs that remind me of you: This City - Sam Fischer // Mr. Loverman - Ricky Montgomery
(not me crying while writing this)
