paroxysm

m

i went through our memories, not being able to let you go

it had been about 2 weeks since you broke up with me
it hit me so hard

i wasn't able to get out of bed

momma chan, as all my friends call her, had to
move in to care for me.

i cried daily

i refused to eat

i didn't go to work

i distanced myself

is this what you wanted my beloved Jinnie?

did you want to see me break?
was i just one of your fucking toys?

all of the red flags were there, yet you made me feel something.

something special..

but.. you didn't feel the same.

you were just manipulative,
your manipulative ways brainwashed me..

i thought you loved me.

you did love me, right?

______________________________________
{Momma Chan's POV}

"Fuck you hyunjin! Fuck you!"

that's all i could say to him, that bastard.

he was confused.

so i shoved the paper in his face

i saw his eyes widen and even tear up

the right he had to cry, when he broke my baby

i snatched the paper back from him, yelling another "fuck you" at the now-crying boy
and looked at the paper which read

Name: Bang Christopher Chan
Age: 23
Date of death: 11th November 2020
Time of death: 4:32am
Cause of death: Suicide

  that's when the paroxysm of mourning hit me

I'm so sorry Chan.