Am I leaving?

Should I even be here?

I question myself everyday. I don't know what to do anymore. Some days I feel like I am somebody, but somedays I don't.

People say, "Hey cheer up, I still love you."
Do they mean it? No. They just say stuff to make me feel better All the lies I've been told over the years that I've been awake is hurting me. People think I'm okay because I say I am. That's a lie I've been saying over years. And every singe one bit of it is a lie!

I try to say happy but I just seem to fail at it. Can just one day someone would come up to me, give me a hug and say "I know your lying, your not okay." But no. I have to lie and say "I'm okay, I'm fine, I'm sure."

All my life it been like that. Couple nights ago I cut. I'm not proud of it but it's the only thing that can take this pain away.

Let me ask you this, have you ever felt like you shouldn't be here? Because I have.

I love people as I love pizza and free wifi, but I've been rejected, ignored, hurt but so many people. They were all nice people who did those things.

I've been told stay strong. I couldn't.

People in tho world, hurt me how they hurt you in a way. I lay back every night in my bed and think to myself "should I even be here? I'm guessing not."

I don't know how I can handle things now. It's all about staying strong, learning how to cope with things.

I'm just asking someone who doesn't even know me, should I be here. Because people who really knows me will say yes but not mean it.