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CHAPTER ELEVEN ғɪʀᴇ ɪɴ ᴛʜᴇ ᴡᴀᴛᴇʀ
I could sense that Bella had figured out Jacob's secret seconds after I left through her window. Instead of waiting by the tree, guarding her window against Victoria's potential threat, I took myself to the edge of the woods, letting my fingers slide across the dried branches of the pine trees. It hadn't rained in three days, and the forest was pleading for it, not used to prolonged dryness, even if it was mere days rather than weeks. I felt as thirsty as the leaves did.
Jacob didn't return. We went through school days like normal, speaking only in small minutes between classes, when Mike wasn't trailing at our heels and Jessica wasn't there to interrupt with some sort of brag.
During these days, the cafeteria seemed so much louder, as if everything had suddenly come into place, exposing all that we had neglected. There was Angela and Eric and everyone we had once talked to on the regular. Our whole spheres, of which our thoughts and concerns and everything in between had been contained within, had narrowed and shrunk until they were devoured by thoughts of the Cullens, Jacob, and vampires and wolves. While both Bella and I's world have undoubtedly broadened in one way, it had also shrunk in numerous others.
As I sat at our usual table, I could see all of that clearly. I could hear Angela talking to Mr. Varner about the paper Bella had forgotten to hand in. Across the room, Mike was making an effort to convince Lauren to come back to sit with our ruptured group. By my side, I could faintly acknowledge Tyler's weak attempt to ask me to join him at the beach in La Push with him one weekend, which internally I laughed at. Never had I envied Edward more than I had then. To be able to look into their heads and see myself through their eyes- the thought of it was too indulgent.
But the blood and the heartbeats- the scents and the sounds had never been so hard to ignore. It pounded through my ears until it sounded like my own veins pumping around my body, paining my head until I wanted to throw my seat to the floor and sprint away. Across the table, Bella sat with her unopened Pepsi can and an apple. I focused on it. But even that meagre, untouched meal had a way of bringing me back to the Cullens and all the problems that had rightly taken us away from the scenes in the cafeteria. They used to sit like that, staring down at the table or at something far off that human eyes wouldn't be able to detect, an uneaten meal at the reach of their fingertips. An apple a day keeps the doctor away, Alice would say, as if her pristine health was down to anything but the supernatural life that coursed through her tiny body.
No doubt Bella thought about the same as I did, about those months where the family would be by our sides and not just sitting in our minds. But there was something else plaguing her, making her hands twitch and eyes flicker up to me every few seconds. It was hard to ignore. It was incredibly difficult to want to ignore- with Victoria on the loose I couldn't avoid it.
