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CHAPTER THIRTEEN ʜᴜᴍᴀɴ
The old woman stared back at me with narrowed eyes. Mrs Rochester's hand shot out to rest upon the envelope of money that I placed on the desk.
"You don't need a room anymore?"
I blinked back at her, eyebrows rising. I'd already told her those exact words twice.
"Well, where are you going?" she said, voice somewhat hysterical. "The school year isn't over yet."
"I'm moving in with a friend," I said, pulling my bag up from the floor and onto my shoulder.
"Which friend?"
"I don't see why it's necessary for you to know," I snapped.
"When will you be leaving?"
I would not be missing the place. It felt like a prison that I paid to be trapped within. The floorboards were too loud and the windows too small to be able to climb through easily, and Mrs Rochester was far too nosey to be a good host. Not to mention that it was easy getting far too tedious to have to come up with excuses for avoiding breakfast with the old woman's husband.
"Now," I said as I turned away, pushing through the front doors. "Goodbye Mrs Rochester."
All I could think was good riddance.
☾
The car thrummed to life, sending a sudden gush of warm air into the truck. Bella threw my bag into the back, before she pulled away, taking me from the dreaded bed and breakfast for what would hopefully be the last time. The road to the Cullens was well-remembered on her part.
"How are you feeling about her return?" Bella finally asked with a slight smirk on her lips.
Her hands shuffled against the steering wheel and her head was unable to look in one direction for more than a few seconds. I forgot how hard it was for humans to just be still.
"Happy," I said while nodding.
"What was it like- seeing her again?"
"It was strange." I shrugged my shoulders casually. "Before, I thought that if I acted like it didn't matter, then it wouldn't. That I would suddenly just forget about her and the fact that I was mad she left and didn't know why."
After I'd parted with Alice, I tried not to think too much of it. I tried not to keep my hopes up in wishing that she would stay for long. But it was hard to do that with all she'd said. I can't tell if you're flirting with me or trying to start an argument, she teased. I wasn't quite sure what I was going for either. My feelings were muddled.
"But when I saw her. When I told her how angry I was. It all just disappeared," I said.
Bella let her eyes leave the road. "Have you told her how you feel about her?"
"What?" I didn't look at her.
"That's how I felt about Edward. It felt like I couldn't breathe without him," she said, laughing lightly as she heard what she'd said. "The vampire equivalent to you."
☾
Alice led me through the house to an upstairs room.
It felt wrong, that it felt so familiar. How long had it been since it was fully occupied and lived in, with shared books scattered in odd rooms and cars revved up and being worked on in the garage? Even the kitchen had once been used somewhat well, all things considered, and now I walked through it all as if it had never been that way at all. As if it was just Alice and me.
"This room used to be where we kept all of our old documents and things for memories. A lot of things were cleared out, but I did the rest before you came," she said as she pushed the door open, letting me step in first with my bag in my hands. "I thought you could use this room for all of your own things."
I smiled, glancing around. Like the rest of the house, the walls were made of glass, stretching from the floor to the ceiling. Wooden accents decorated the table and the bookshelves, no doubt an added touch from Esme.
"Thank you," I said, finally looking back at her from the middle of the room. "It's beautiful. The whole house is beautiful."
She let out a laugh, her face pulling up into a perfect smile. "You've seen it all before."
I shook my head. "But it never fails to amaze me."
The sunlight was nothing more than a slither that'd broken through the walls of glass, but it devoured the shadows that parted us, seeming to shorten the space until Alice was standing next to me, her face highlighted with brilliant gold. It wasn't strong enough to make her sparkle, but she was beautiful all the same. Her hand outstretched with the grace of a feline and she slipped her fingers under mine, letting them remain held in between us. Some sort of shivering feeling ran up and down my spine. She took any opportunity to touch me, whether it was the movement of a stray hair, or the brushing of my skin as she passed me something. I would never complain about such a thing. Not when it was Alice. But it confused me to no end.
"I need to hunt," she said, keeping her hand in mine. "You coming with?"
I shook my head again. "You go. I'm alright. I'll sort through my things," I said. "I'll be done by the time you're back."
Alice shot me one last tender smile before she left, dropping my hand slowly and turning to hurry away. I spent the time while she was away in my own head, having very few things to actually find a place for. The things I did put out- my clothes and books and keepsakes- all fit well with the rest as if they were meant to be there, and it gave my dead heart a certain sense of warmth again.
I was grateful that Edward wasn't here so that he couldn't hear my thoughts. Alice consumed them all.
It made me feel human: all the longing and the pain and the fear of losing. Immortality left you fearless, numb to the misery of surrounding death through the years. But I was scared to lose her- the only woman I'd ever allowed myself to admit that I felt for deeply. And I was scared to feel about her the way I did. It was the most human feeling ever.
I'd never held her intimately, nor spoke to her in a way that lovers or anything similar would do. But I knew how I felt about her. I couldn't deny it.
☾
I swear I don't think it's possible to get a block on this book, I love writing it so much. This chapter is just a small one since the next one is pretty massive.
Also, thank you so much for almost 40k and all of the continuous comments- hearing your reactions seriously helps to keep me motivated! I love you all x
