The Tinder Date - Miniminter fanfiction

~Chapter 1~

Simon's p.o.v

I rolled over, wide awake at 6:32am. I hadn't slept at all and it was clear I wasn't going to get any sleep now. I spent the night tossing and turning, fighting back and forth with my brain. Trying to come to terms with myself. The truth is, i'm gay.

It all started a year ago. I was finding myself becoming less and less interested in girls. Whether that be on instagram, the guys discussing them or even on my porn category.

It was hard to believe. I couldn't be gay. I spent this whole year telling myself to man up. You like girls Simon. But I always kept going back to the thought that maybe I was gay.

I could never tell anyone. They would laugh. Call me girly and pathetic. What would the guys even say? I would lose all my followers, I was sure of that. But as I sat up in bed at 6:40am, I finally admitted to myself, that I was gay, and it terrified me.

I threw my covers off of myself and made my way over to my bathroom. I splashed water on my face and looked at my reflection in the mirror. Bloodshot and heavy eyes. I wasn't even tired. My head was pounding with thoughts. 'You need to keep this to yourself, no one can know about this.'

I dried my face and threw on some joggers and an oversized hoodie, pulling the sleeves over my hands before making my way into the living room. I was 100% sure that JJ would still be asleep. He won't be up for hours. I sat down at the table and put my head in my hands. Dragging them down my face in order to wake myself up but to also think. How do I go about this? I'll definitely have to pretend and act normal. Talk about girls and laugh with the guys. I need to push this side of myself far away and lock it up. The pathetic side of Simon can't be seen.

I shake my head and get up. 'Snap out of it Simon. Forget about this all. Just go about your day.' And that's what I did.

I walked into my office and sat down to record a video. Hours passed and my cheeks were aching with all the fake smiling I was doing. I couldn't keep this up. It was so easy to act like I was fine when I wasn't certain I was gay. But now that the thought of kissing a girl disgusts me, it was hard to act like I was 'normal.'

I switched my camera off and made my way into the living room to see JJ sprawled out across the sofa.

"hey man" he said as he moved so I could take a seat next to him. "hey" I replied, pulling my sleeves over the hands and watching the TV. "what have you been doing" he asks, turning his attention from his phone to me. "just been making videos, i made a second channel vid and i also streamed a bit with Jordz but that's been it." I reply, turning to him before focussing my attention back on the tv screen. I don't really know what show is on, it looks kind of rubbish but I continue to seem fascinated by it. "oh fair enough man" and that was it, he went back to scrolling through his phone.

I was lost in thought, no longer paying attention to the show that was blasting through the tv speakers. I was fighting with my brain again. It was like a devil and an angel on each of my shoulders. One telling my to come out and embrace it, who cares what people think. The other looking at me in disgust, telling me everyone will hate me and i'll lose everyone. No one will look up to a freak. You can guess who's who. I was snapped out of my toxic thoughts when JJ started laughing hysterically next to me.

"oi Si you've got to look at this" he says between fits of laughter. He pauses the TV and gives me his phone. I look at the screen and instantly see Calfreezys youtube channel. I replay the video and it's Cal, going undercover on Tinder trying to hook up with guys. He was doing it as a joke obviously and the video was comedy gold. I laughed along with JJ and acted like it was just some stupid video. But it wasn't. I was intrigued. The thought of going on Tinder never crossed my mind. I could go on it and speak to guys, no one has to know. I can speak out about how i'm feeling, maybe the guys on there can give me advice. It may be even fun to speak to guys in a sexual way without anyone having to know, and no one to judge me. I passed the phone back to JJ smiling widely. He obviously thought it was because of the video because he said "i know!" before laughing again. I chuckled along with him before getting up and going back to my office.