All the things he said

All the things he said is now running through my head.

We were in the gym of the building that BSAA provide us for housing and training. Just the two of us. I had just got out of the shower; I put on my clothes and saw him waiting in the hall. He had his head down, like an upset little puppy.

He looked at me and, before speaking, he blew out all the air he was holding. He said everything that was running through his head and that he was confused. It was unprofessional. He wanted to be close to me all the time and forever. Not as a dynamic duo, but as a couple in love. As he spoke, he approached.

He said he was really liking me. He was in love. Piers was always a straightforward man; I just didn't think he could be so honest like that with me.

We were both silent. I didn't know what to say or what to do. He's my soldier, it's unprofessional. But that didn't stop him from throwing himself in my arms and kissing me.

At first, I was scared, but his lips were so soft and juicy that I just wanted to going on. It felt so wrong, it felt so right. It was unprofessional. I didn't want to stop, but Piers did it on his own. He took two steps back and said it was wrong. He said it was unprofessional. He apologized and ran away from the gym. I just got stunned, without an action.

I wish Claire was here, she always had a bossy voice on me. She would tell me exactly what to do. She would send me up to Piers' room to talk about what happened and about my feelings regarding it.

My feelings? Do I have feeling for Piers? He is a good man, he's my right-hand man. I never looked at him any other way, at least not that I noticed. After kissing me, I realized I need him. I always needed him; I just didn't know it yet.

Now I'm here, in my room, alone and lying on this spacious couch that I never use. I never thought it would be so useful. With the couch I think and imagine everything. Everything that happened, all the things he said. I want to disappear; my heart is pounding. I need Piers Nivans here with me like I never needed before. Tomorrow is Christmas Eve, and we have an important mission in the Eastern European. I lost my mind when I needed it most.

With all my strength, I get up from the couch and walk slowly up to the door. Before opening it, I rest my head on it and take a deep breath. I have to do this; I need to do this soon as possible. But three suddenly knocks make me jump. With my chest burning, I look through the peephole and my heart skips a beat.

Piers.

"Chris?"