When You Smile (Engineering Student #3)

Chapter Eighteen

Chapter 18

I admit was shocked when King asked me about my father though I already anticipated this because we're talking about fathers. I admit too that I am not okay after he mentioned him. I became very sensitive when we're talking about father. Kaya kapag alam kong may mga usaping ganito na... ako na lang ang kusang lumalayo at ayaw nang pag-usapan pa.

"Wala," malamig kong sabi.

"Oh, I'm sorry," he apologized and he became silent after that. It seems like he wanted to ask more but he's hesitant to ask so he doesn't bother to ask anymore. The air between us became awkward and silent. Nakatitig lang ako sa inumin ko at hindi na tumingin pa sa kanya.

I am not mad at him... hindi naman niya alam eh. Siguro dahil na rin sa medyo sensitive ako sa usaping ganito kaya nanahimik na lang ako.

Nanatili ang tahimik na hangin sa amin hanggang sa nakarating na kami sa bahay. Hindi pa rin kami nagsasalita. Madilim na, tingin ko pasado alas sais na at malapit na mag-alas siete.

"Pasok na ako. Salamat," sabi ko saka pumasok na sa loob ng bahay na hindi siya nililingon. Naiinis ako sa sarili ko sa naging asta. Maybe tomorrow, I am okay again... ganoon din naman ako.

While I am busy reading my phone suddenly rang. King is calling.

Napatitig ako ng ilang segundo bago sinagot.

"Nagre-review ako—"

"I'm sorry, Casper," he said. "I don't know and I think I made you sad earlier. Sorry."

He's apologizing nonstop.

"I just want you to know that I am here. I am not forcing you to open up with me but if you need someone to talk to, I am willing to listen, Casper."

"Iyon lang naman. Magreview ka na at sorry sa abala. Good night, Casper."

Natapos ang usapan na hindi man lang ako nagsasalita. Hindi ko rin naman alam ang sasabihin eh. He's being thoughtful but I am just being too sensitive here.

Noong una pa lang hindi na talaga ako kumportable na pinag-uusapan ang tungkol sa tatay ko. Hindi dahil sa wala akong pakialam sa kanya, pero dahil na rin... nasasaktan ako tuwing naaalala siya.

Isa na rin siguro ito sa dahilan kung bakit hanggang ngayon may trust issues pa rin ako sa mga tao. Dahil simula bata nawalan na ako ng tiwala sa mga tao.

My father left us. My father left me when I was so young. I am too young to experience that kind of pain but had enough mind to understand what happened that day.

The next morning, while I was on my way to library, I saw King and some of his friends going to the library. They looked like they're busy because they were rushing in going to the library. Hindi na rin nila ako nakita dahil sa pagmamadali.