Pain, panic and picture perfect

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     "It felt like chipping my very own self into pieces, it felt like burning in hellfire just trying to escape the string-no, rope-no, steel cable that tied me, myself to him. But if I didn't, everyone I loved would suffer. Why? Why can't I just be that one good, little doll and accept my fate and get going with it? It pained me to break away. His gaze was like the ocean lapping onto a sandy beach, the waves dyed gold and the sands silver. Yes, the scenery was beguiling, the view exquisite, yet the closer you got, the more danger you were in. Get too close, and drown you would. Trying to pretend that we were a perfect family took it's toll, and taking the microscopic chance to even dare to believe that he was the one I've been looking, waiting for had almost killed me. Trying to fight for my sanity, even for one more, one mere second was like dragging myself across a bed of razors, repeating over and over. Forever. And ever." Those were my last thoughts as I was finally able to close my eyes and go to "sleep".