We Could Have Had A Daughter

 "You're a poopyhead," Hisoka said bluntly.

Illumi pecked him on the cheek and sat down beside him. "I know, dear, but you have to get some rest."

"I don't like sleeping. You of all people should know that by now." Hisoka leaned his head on Illumi's shoulder as he set his hands on Hisoka's midriff. "You're going to be acting like this around me until this thing comes out, aren't you?"

"It's for our child's health. And yours, of course."

Hisoka groaned in frustration and leaned further into Illumi's embrace. He crossed his arms with a huff and closed his eyes, then eventually relaxed over the course of ten minutes until he was asleep. Illumi idly stroked his hair as he slept. He knew how much Hisoka was sacrificing to make this happen and genuinely appreciated it. To ask Hisoka not to fight was like asking a fish to breathe air and yet here he was, peacefully napping away for the sake of something more.

Three days before

Hisoka tapped his foot impatiently on the bathroom floor. He wasn't even sure if this was going to work but he had high hopes nonetheless. He waited for what seemed like hours then figured enough time had passed, so he walked over to the counter and picked up the pregnancy test. A grin spread across his face as soon as he saw it. "Oh bungee gum...is there any problem you can't solve?"

Illumi was waiting for him as he left the bathroom. "What did it say?"

"It seems your father was wrong. We can, and will, be parents after all."

Hisoka had been in a bad mood all day, but Illumi knew exactly what to do. If there was one thing in this world that could cheer him up, it was a round or two of Super Smash Bros. After a couple hours of playing, Hisoka had a solid four win lead over Illumi. He had been practicing. Illumi noticed between matches that Hisoka was occasionally adjusting his clothes around his waist.

"Are you okay?"

"I'm fine, I just haven't gotten used to it yet. This thing was tight before I put on the extra weight."

The next match began and, after a close game, ended with Hisoka being the victor.

"You win again," Illumi conceded, setting his controller down.

"That was a good one," said Hisoka as he laid back against the couch. "You were right, I feel a lot better now."

"That's great to hear."

"I'm feeling good enough to get hungry. What would you like for dinner?"
"Lamb and rabbit stew perhaps?"

Hisoka smiled. "That's the kind of answer I was hoping for."

They went to the kitchen and made some lamb and rabbit stew together. As Illumi was plating it, Hisoka turned off all of the lights in the dining room and lit some candles to set the mood. They looked into each other's eyes for a moment before they began to eat, taking a moment to appreciate each other.

"This is nice," Hisoka said, admiring Illumi's features with a calm yet lustful gaze. "We should do this more often."

"I agree."

"We might want to get the...Oh right, can't have wine."

"It's almost concerning how often you forget that."

"It isn't like I-" Hisoka stopped and looked down at himself, beaming. "Oh my, was that a little kick I just felt?" He beckoned Illumi over. "Come, it's moving."