Eternity

Chapter Nineteen

Sorry it's short again, I couldn't think of anything else to put in :/

Hopefully the next will be longer.

Chapter Nineteen

Earth

Dark is the forest and deep, and overhead

Hang stars like seeds of light

In vain, though not since they were sown was bred

Anything more bright.

And evermore mighty multitudes ride

About, nor enter in;

Of the other multitudes that dwell inside

Never yet was one seen.

The forest foxglove is purple, the marguerite

Outside is gold and white,

Nor can those that pluck either blossom greet

The others, day or night.

The Dark Forest-Edward Thomas

          “Are you going to answer me?”

          I swallowed nervously and rocked back and forth on my shoes. “I was at Finley’s…I’m sorry, we, uh, lost track of time, I guess.”

          Grandma Liv shook her head slowly. “I wish you wouldn’t lie to me, I know you’re a better girl than that Hanne. Please just tell me the truth.”

          “But…” I started.

          “I know you’re lying because I called Finley’s house earlier to check up on you. I talked to his mother and she told me that you haven’t been over at Finley’s at all today. Mind explaining?”

          No. No no no. How was I supposed to get out of this? I promised myself they would never find out, that I could keep this all inside. My personal secret adventure. My messy situation.

          “Well, you see, I actually went to town to look around for a little while before I came back and took a hike in the woods. I’m sorry I lied about it, I just wanted a little time to myself.”

          Grandma Liv’s body relaxed a little bit. “Are you sure that’s what happened?”

          I nodded in response and crossed my fingers behind my back. I had to get out of this lying habit.

“Thank you for telling the truth this time, but I still don’t see why you would lie about that. If you wanted time to yourself, why didn’t you just say?” She sighed. “Well, no matter what, you’re still grounded. House arrest.” She shuffled towards the door. “That means bed now.” I sighed and followed after her, guilt flooding my body. When would I ever get out of this mess? When would the lies stop? I had twisted myself in so deep that I didn’t think they ever would.

          In the still darkness of my room, I laid in bed, my head resting on the cool pillow and my eyes wide open. I was scared about how Finley would feel when he saw I had lied and how disappointed Grandma Liv was in me. I hated to disappoint everyone, but I had no choice. If I didn’t save Bluze, I could be the cause of her death. I might already have been. My heart ached as I shut my eyes and tried to block out my worries. I did what I had to. There was no other way.

          In the end, I failed anyway. And now they had probably hurt Bluze, or worse. No, I wouldn’t think of that. Couldn’t think of that. I couldn’t let go of the hope that I would still get her out okay.

          The only thing I could tell myself was that it would all be better in the morning.

          Despite my reassurances, the morning was worse. I couldn’t go anywhere, which meant no explaining to Finley and no finding out if Bluze was alright. I spent the day on my laptop and typing ideas and wishes into my journal. I also searched through the other journal, although my reading was to no avail. Most of the entries were about A’s personal experiences. No help to me.

          As I finished typing up my entry, the doorbell rang downstairs. I shut my laptop and sealed away my thoughts before starting down the creaky wooden stairs. I heard Grandma Liv open the door as I reached the bottom.

          “Hello Finley. I’m sorry, but Hanne can’t come to the door…” I gave her my most pleading look as she turned and saw me.

          “Please, just a few minutes. I need to explain.” Grandma Liv sighed.

          “Five minutes,” she said, and walked into the kitchen. I opened the front door wider and stepped outside to see Finley, a grim expression on his face. I swallowed hard. Time for another lie.

          “Care to explain?” Finley asked, a harsh tone in his voice. I flinched a little, the sound hitting my heart. This situation wasn’t totally my fault, at least I had a good reason. Not that I could tell anyone.

          “Well you see…” I started. He watched me impatiently. “I’ll admit I wasn’t honest with you, but I needed to get away for a little while. It was selfish of me to lie, I should’ve just told you from the start. I’m sorry, I really am.” He eyed me warily for a moment but I leaned over and kissed him softly on the cheek. “I’ve got to go, house arrest.” I turned to go back in the house.

          “Hanne,” he said quietly. I looked back over my shoulder at him.

          His beautiful sea green eyes smiled along with the curve of his lips. “It’s okay. Just don’t let it happen again.” I grinned back at him.

          “Thank you,”  I whispered to him before turning and going back into the house. I smiled as I hopped up the stairs and fell back onto my unmade bed. At least someone still forgave me.

          After a little while, I logged back into my computer and opened up the document that held my journal entries. I began to type furiously. Maybe if I got everything out and kept faith, Bluze would be okay. It was wishful thinking, but I couldn’t help it. Losing hope would be like admitting to myself that Bluze might be…dead. Scary. Horrifying. To terrible to imagine.

          I had  to keep thinking that the people in Eternity, if they even were people, weren’t that cruel. They couldn’t be. If they were, then I had lost all hope of ever finding Bluze.

          Later that night, I curled up on my bed with my music and wished all of the worries away. All of the troubles, all of the lies, all of the issues. All of the plans, all of the rescues, all of the secrets. I told myself to hope for change in the morning and simply buried it all under the song and laid there as the moonlight splashed across the floor.

          I could see the forest from here, the dark trees not as menacing as they had been before. Something had changed in my mindset. I was confident now, reassured that I knew all of the forests secrets, and it knew all of mine. Neither would tell on the other. That was the way it would stay forever. Or so, I thought.

          I always surprise myself in the end.