Welcome everyone...
To my stupid, boring and pathetic life....
I wake up every morning with mom's screeching screams, dad's monstrous gargles, dog's constant whining and a heavy head....
No Its not a hungover...
Only once in my life I ever got drunk and that also was just for two hours....
By the time I reached home I was much more sober than normal....
No I don't get high...
I can't...
I would never even try it....
But I like to feel like I am not in my senses...
Most of the time I ignore human interactions as much as possible....
But still I like to talk...
But mostly I loose control over my tongue....
It's like a race horse which only races once in a blue moon...
But when it races it crashes all the hurdles and boundaries....
It's like a nightmare...
I try to be positive but the more I think the more I get sadder and sadder...
So I try to zone out....
Not thinking about anyone or anything....
It's one of my superpowers...
Huh...
Strange....
I am strange....
I like to write...
But my brain is like an endless pit...
I try to focus....
But all the ideas, memories, storylines flood my brain and I feel like I am going to drown...
It's that feeling of helplessness....
You feel suffocating and trapped inside a glass box slowly filling up with water...
Soon you will drown...
You know that very well...
But you feel like staying in that glass box is better rather than escaping....
May be it feels safer that way....
And I try to get over it...
I cry out for help...
Guidance....
A ray of hope....
But nothing comes out ever....
Should I end my life?
Stupid idea...
I want to live....
I want a ray of hope...
I want something....
I am not in a good place....
But I am not going to give up....
I am strange...
Huh....
My brother once told me...
"You are like a Cabbage....
Strangely good but full of layers"...
I don't understand why he said that and what does he mean....
A compliment or a comment....
My insecure and self critical mind takes it as insult...
So where was I?
Yes.. my heavy head..
Its coz I cried all night....
You want to know why?
May be not...
But I told you my tongue is like a race horse....
So it happened like this..
....
It was a normal day...
Mom was shouting loudly..
"Hey lazy buffalo... How long you are going to sleep?... Don't you have school today...?
This girl.... How long do I have to take care of her?... Are you going to wakeup or I do I have to throw water on you?"
I woke up on the first call...
But my so called rebellious ass kept on attached to my bed...
I always feel like a burden and even though I know my family is right and I am being irrational, still I wanna play dead to their words ...
I am not popular....
I don't have "real" friends...
So no chance of boyfriend too....
I am the queen of the kindom of mediocrity....
Mediocre in studies...
Mediocre in sports ...
And
Being a middle child...
Mediocre in everything else too....
But today I am not just pasted on my bed...
I was dreaming with open eyes...
About Yoon...
A transfer student...
When I look at him I feel my perfect protagonist from Manga materialized in real world...
Pale skin, skinny but sturdy build, a rocker boy attire and those resting puppy eyes....
Love? Crush? Attraction?
I don't know ...
I just know that I am like an opposite side of megnet being pulled towards him...
Involuntarily, unconsciously....
Yesterday I bumped into him accidently and he looked at me for the first time..
It felt like being hypnotised by those calm pale brownish eyes....
Something pierced into my heart and I out of nowhere lost my senses....
I was standing like a dumb ass moron in front of Him...
I could have said sorry or ignore him and walk away but I was standing...
Doing nothing...
Just like that....
Suddenly he said "Miss if u don't wanna use your eyes then you can donate them to the needy people..."
Huh
Just that a stupid Huh...
That's it ..
He smirked and walked away like nothing....
I am still lost in those eyes....
Bang!!!
The door opens....
