I was sitting on the toilet, in my paradise, the only place where I have a little peace, since I don't have my own room, I express my feelings in front of the mirror in the toilet. I listen to the smiles of bts members and force myself to smile, but i just can't i feel like i died inside. I feel so disgusted, like this isn't me. I don't want to be this, I want to change some things.
The door falls to the floor and my angry father appears in front of me and forcibly takes away my headphones.
Dad: What do you think you're doing here again huh? What's going on in your brain, you're stupid as a dog! There’s nothing you can do and you’re just sitting on this stinky toilet ! I can't look at you anymore, I'm taking you to your mother!
No, I didn't shed a tear, because I got used to this kind of treatment in this house, I just smiled because I will finally leave this terror. He pulled me by the arm, took me to my closet and ordered me to pack my things, there weren’t many of them so I did it very quickly. He didn't even want to look at me, what did I do wrong? He better not even make me ... I hate him! I hate him ! I repeated in my head only that sentence.
Dad: Get going!
Me: Do you really think you can raise your voice at me anymore?
He grabbed me by the chin and said
Dad: Did you answer me?
I spat at him and said what I really felt towards him.
Me: I HATE YOU!
I quickly ran out with a small backpack crammed with my belongings and headed for the bus.
My mom lives in the town near this, uh I can't wait to see her! I missed her so much. I think only she understands my feelings.
