You Can't Love A Dead Person

Oikawa's POV

"Alright, we are going to call Mr. Iwazumi and he should come pick you up in about five minutes." The nurse says cheerfully as she leaves my hospital room. I hope Iwa isn't mad. He yelled at me a bit earlier, but he didn't seem angry, just worried. The door into my room opens again and the nurse walks back in.

"Mr. Oikawa, I'm going to give these to you when you leave," She says, rattling a bottle of pills "You need to take one before each meal, so three a day. They should help you keep food down, and make the digestion process better for you. Now obviously, there's no point in taking these if you won't eat." I look away when she says this. Enough people have told me off for not eating, but it won't help.

"Mr. Oikawa, are you aware that you are in the fifth percentile for men your age?" the nurse asks. I shake my head and refrain from making eye contact. "You are severely underweight. A guy of your age and activity level should be consuming between 2,500 and 3,000 calories each day. We estimate that you have been consuming between 250 and 500." The nurse must have noticed that I was no longer paying attention to her, because she puts her hand on my shoulder and raises her voice.

"Mr. Oikawa, if you continue eating this much, you will die." She says, emphasizing the last word. Someone knocks at the door, and the nurse gets up to open the door.

"Hey, are you ready to go?" asks Iwa.

"Yeah." I say, crawling out of the bed.

"Nurse, are there any release papers that we have to sign?" asks Iwa

"Nope, we've already taken care of all of it. You're free to go." she replies.

"Come on Tōru, let's go." says Iwa, his hand extended slightly.

"Does he want me to hold his hand?" I think to myself. "Probably not, that doesn't sound like Iwa." I conclude. I follow Iwa outside, and he drives me home. We don't speak at all until we get home.

"Sit down." Iwa orders as I walk through the door into our apartment. His tone is strict, so I don't dare disobey him. I sit up straight on one of the stools in our kitchen, tensing up as Iwa walks behind me. Suddenly, he grabs my chin and pulls it to the side, where he is now standing.

"Listen to me Shittykawa, you need to eat. If you don't eat, then you will die. And if you die, I'll be pissed off." Iwa says roughly.

"Fuck you Iwa. You're always thinking about yourself. I'm your boyfriend for god's sake you could do a better job pretending to care about me. It's my body, I'll do what I want with it."

"No the fuck you won't! Godamnit Oikawa, I love you, and I can't love a dead person. You said I don't care about you? Well how about this, I'll take you out. We're going on a dinner date and after that, we can spend the whole night together. It's been awhile since we've had sex."

"The fuck? Iwa you can't just use sex to make it up whenever you screw up. I'm not going on your stupid date and I'm not going to have sex with you!" I shout. Iwa looks back at me, eyes wide. I clearly surprised him by my response.

"Fine, have it your way. I'm going for a smoke." Iwa says coolly, walking away from me. I feel a twinge of guilt, because Iwa really did try to fix things, but this is how it has to be.

I put my running shoes on and jog downstairs. As I jog out of the apartment complex, somebody grabs the collar of my shirt.

"Where the hell do you think you're going?" Iwa asks.

"Let me go! I'm going on a run." I reply, flailing my arms at him in attempts to get him to let me go.

"Oikawa you can't. The doctors said that you need to limit your exercise and eat more. I'm not gonna let you go on a run until you eat."

"That's stupid. What do doctors know anyway?" I complain.

"A lot more then you fucking do. Now go eat. I'll run with you after our meal." Says Iwa, putting out his cigarette. I try to break free so I can go on a run without him, but he quickly scoops me up and carries me back into our apartment bridal style.

"Put me down Iwa-Chan!" I whale. Iwa ignores me, and carries me into the kitchen. He gently sets me down on the floor, then pretends to dust his hands off on his pants.

"Here's what's gonna happen: I'm going to make us lunch, while you explain what I can do better. Then we will eat together, and talk about what's happening. Oikawa, I've known you forever and we've been dating for years! Recently you've been a stranger to me. When we finish eating, we can go on a run if you still want to, or we can cuddle and watch a movie." Iwa explains.

"Fine. I'll eat your stupid lunch and talk about our stupid relationship." I say, rolling my eyes.

"You don't mean that," Iwa hums "You don't really think out relationship is stupid, right?" Iwa says, looking hurt. I merely scoff in response.

I want to say no. I want to tell him how much he means to me and that our relationship means the world to me. I want to reassure Iwa that he is my everything and I love him more than life, but I can't.