Impossible!

Decision

Today, er, this week, I think I've made a decision.

I think I've fallen for Maria. I don't know, but when it comes to her lately, I feel something. I've moved on from "him", and I decided and accepted the fact that those happy feelings I had for him would never come back, and the fact that he'll never like me.

It was pretty much too late to turn back now, since I've already did it. I've decided, and I've told my feelings to some of my trustworthy friends. 

I guess I'm bisexual now--wait, I've always been, ever since the time I harboured feelings for Carlos. However, it was just a slight one, so who cares, right?

I never knew I'd realize this for myself. I never realized I'd be inlike (ugh i don't wanna use the other term!!) with someone---and that someone was a girl! 

I guess I've learnt something from this. Sometimes, you ignore the person who loves you dearly, and instead fall for the wrong person. That's what happened to me, I fell for the wrong or not right person, which was "him". I got blinded by my "feelings" for "him", which in the end, I just realized I hurt myself and I was hoping too much on him.

There would always be a right time when you have found your "the one" and sometimes that would take really long, so you gotta be patient about it. 

I've had doubts about liking Maria, but I guess I really do like her. And that likeness I have towards her would grow more and more stronger as days pass by.

Lots of people told me to choose her, and it took them a lot of "choose her" sentences to push myself from doing so. Right now, I guess I am choosing her. ((ASJBRJBJRGB I CAN'T HANDLE THIS)) 

I hope she treats me in a good way once we become.... you know, the thing, etc. I hope I don't get hurt in the end and start crying because of her. That would suck but hey, pain demands to be felt and there would never be a time in the world that you'd never get hurt by someone or something. ♥

P.S. - Nicole went absent because she felt extremely depressed and jealous over Maria and some tomboy that people pair me up with, and even said to some of my friends that she might kill herself. Her best friend, Ami, was already FO (friendship over) with her and moved on to ship Maria and I. God, I can't believe that it would be this pressuring for 2 people to like you, especially if the other one is a jealous type!