The state that I'm in. (BEING EDITED)

in the way

The two Panadol pills I took that morning seemed to start working and I was so grateful for that as Rose and I had to go to the university to register for the new semester. If we put it off any longer we would have to take the classes that no else wanted and those were usually crappy ones with boring professors who gave you no feedback, advice or guidance. Rose was sitting opposite me at the kitchen table still stunned with what I had revealed to her a while before. She could not comprehend how these people’s minds worked. Harry was still sleeping and I tried to be quiet not to wake him up. Waking him up would mean talking about the previous night and I was in no mood for something like that, not yet at least.

“So …what are you going to do?” Rose asked in a whisper.

“What do you mean…what can I do?” I replied.

“I mean this is fucking too much! Are you considering stop seeing him…I think you should consider it a bit…” she said honestly.

“Rose, that is not an option…I am not going to let them tell me what to do…and besides if I stopped seeing him would that mean that he would go back to her and be a family with her? If that were the case I would end this in a heartbeat. If I was to blame for their break up I wouldn’t hesitate for a second. But I wasn’t. They were never a couple. You can’t just force someone to be with you…and now…and now…that I know what they are capable of I surely don’t want Harry to be a part of such a family. The only thing that bothers me though is that his child is going to grow up with them around…this just gives me the chills” I said realizing I was talking to myself rather than to Rose.

“I was just checking to see if you were serious about him, that’s all. Besides he must be really great in bed, all that muscle …abs…they can’t go to waste…” Rose tried to lighten up the atmosphere.

“Shut up!” I chuckled. “Finish your coffee…we need to get going”

“OK, mother…By the way…have you talked to your parents about Harry and his situation, yet?” she asked curiously.

“Nope” I admitted.

“I see…Don’t you think you should with all this going on? I mean your parents know people, too. They can protect you against them. You are not alone in this. At least your brothers should know…”she continued and I knew she was right to worry but I wasn’t ready to deal with that, yet.

“Leo knows, he is like a brother to me and he has my back … and I promise I will tell them soon so get off my case, will you?” I said trying to defend my decision.

“Leo is not your brother. The two of you together on a deserted island would make beautiful healthy babies…so give me a break…don’t use the best friend card because there is no such thing between a man and a woman. Someone always wants more at one point but they are too scared to act on it or too stupid to see it. That’s my theory!” she stated bluntly.

“What? Are you crazy? Leo is not like that…he has never seen me like that at all, nor have I seen him in a different way either…Where is this coming from?” I was beginning to find her theory really amusing.

“I’m just saying…” she shrugged grabbing her bag and sunglasses.

“Let’s go before you say anything more stupid…” I smiled taking my stuff, too.

I checked on Harry who was still sleeping heavily, soft snores heard in the room making me grin before leaving a note on my pillow saying where we would be since I didn’t want him freaking out when he woke up with both of us gone.

Making small talk with Rose and joking around was good for me. She made me laugh heartily in the lift imitating different university professors and I had to admit she was really good at it. My headache had almost disappeared and I was slowly recovering from my dreadful encounters of the previous night until I reached my car. All four tyres had been slashed…