Maybe Joey isn’t here because he doesn’t want to be. Think about. Who would want to spend the rest of eternity with me? I’ve lied to him, cheated on him, and broke his heart way too many times. I’m surprised his last words he said to me before he died were I love you, too, Shaney. With the way our relationship was going, I would expect that his last words would be Go f*ck yourself, Dawson.
But I also didn’t expect we would die so soon.
I wish there was a clock around here somewhere. I have no idea how long I’ve been here. The sun sets every evening but it never goes down completely. It just goes down far enough to create the beautiful fire-like colors in the sky but then I blink my eyes and it’s high in the sky again.
This place is weird. I love it. It would be better if Joey were here with me though.
I pick myself up off of the soft grass and start climbing the tree again. I don’t even leave the tree anymore. I’ll just lie at the base of the tree and fall asleep under the shade. I thought in heaven I would have a mansion and walk on a street made of gold, but that’s not what I want at all now. More is less and this is way more than I could ask for. Even though I’m practically a homeless man, living in a park, I’ve never been so relaxed ever in my life. Just the atmosphere of this place just makes all my worries go away.
Well…except for my worries about Joey.
I climb the tree and go up almost to the top of the tree. I think that the higher in the tree you go, the further you get into the relationship. I go further and further up the tree until I see something that really catches my eye.
My truck keys
The one thing Joey always asked from me is to slap him with the truth, but never kiss him with a lie. I couldn’t even do that…
“Who is it?” Joey asks facing away from me. His voice is shaking.
“Who is what?” I ask confused. What the hell is he talking about? I just woke up from a thirty minute nap and walk downstairs to find Joey standing completely still like a statue. He slowly turns around with one tear on his cheek and so much fire burning in his eyes.
“WHO THE HELL ARE YOU F*CKING?”
“What are you talking about? I’m not f*cking anyone.” I say with a straight face. He gives off a small smile and lets out a short chuckle while shaking his head.
“There you go again with your lies. You really think I’m stupid don’t you?”
“I’m not lying and I don’t think you're stupid, Jay.”
“Hurt me with the truth but don’t comfort me with a lie. I’m a grown ass man; I can handle it. Just tell me what happened!”
“Nothing happened! Where is all of this coming from?” he pulls an empty condom wrapper and a pair of women’s panties out of his pocket.
“Care to explain why I found this in your truck?” you can practically hear the cries trying to escape his throat. Three more tears slide down his beautiful face as he impatiently taps his foot on the floor.
“Joey, I can explain.” I say, walking towards him. He just shakes his head and backs up away from me.
“No. I don’t want you to explain anything to me. You are a f*cking cheater and there is no excuse for that. I just want to know who it is.”
“It’s just a girl. You don’t know her.” I lie."I love you, Jay, and I'm sorry."
“Out of all the time you’ve lied to me, Shane, I think my favorite lie is when you say ‘I love you’” and with that, he throws the items on the ground and stomps out the door with his car keys tightly clenched in his hands.
“Joey, wait.” I grab his arm to keep him from leaving. “It was Lisa.”
“Why, Shane? Why’d you lie?” his face is completely streaked with tears now. He’s not even trying to hold them back anymore.
“I lied because I was afraid to know how much you would hurt if you knew the truth.” He just stares at me for a second with so much disappointment and betrayal in his eyes.
“The worst thing about being lied to is to simply know you weren’t even worth the truth.” He yanks his arm away and walks to his car with what dignity he has left.
I’m not sure if he’ll ever come back to me.
I’m not even sure if he still loves me.
YOU ARE READING
Forgotten Memories (Shoey)
FanfictionShane is dead and lives in the afterlife. While he's there, trying to solve the puzzle of death, he finds the tree of life. It holds all the branches of his forgotten memories he had with his boyfriend while he was still alive. It also holds the tru...
