Do You Wanna Buy A River?

Chapter 1

"Do you wanna buy a river?".
A woman stood on the old wooden porch of an old man. She was bundled in many layers of clothing because of the harsh cold. The man looked back at her with a questioning look on his face.
"What'd ya say?", he practically yelled at her.
"Do you wanna buy a river?"
"I can't hear ya little lady!"
"DO YOU WANNA BUY A RIVER?!"
"Nah, I'm good."
"But, sir-"
"I can't even afford a new pair of socks," he replied, showing her his worn gray socks.
"Oh"
"Now get off my porch before I sic my dogs on you"
At that the woman left the man and began walking down the gravel road. She didn't know where she was or where was going. She just knew she had to sell a river. It would change everything. She kept walking. Her feet ached with blisters, but she kept walking.
She now came to a little farmhouse with a bunch of chickens clucking outside. A very fat woman wearing a pink dress that was not at all flattering on her stood by the chickens. She kept tossing handfuls of feed at the chickens' heads. Not to nurture them with food, but almost like if she threw the feed hard enough it would kill the little creatures. As the walking woman approached the driveway made of just dirt and few shells, she saw a mailbox with the name "The Pitifuls" on it.
"Seems to fit," the woman said to herself.
"If you're gonna trespass onto my beautiful land, you better have a good reason", the fat woman hollered.
"Do you wanna buy a river?"
"Come again Miss?"
"Do ya wanna buy a river ma'am?"
"Now I know by the looks of my home and my stunning beauty that I look pretty wealthy, but true is, I ain't got no money to spare. Plus I got a perfectly good stream goin' through my backyard right there"
"Please"
"No! Now get away before I sick my pig on you!"
The woman looked at Mrs. Pitiful confused.
"Suey!"
A giant boar broke through the barn door and began charging at the woman as fast as it could. It sent dust and dirt everywhere as the filthy creature ran.
The woman ran away. She ran and ran and ran. She ran past the broken down mill, over the little rickety bridge. Unfortunately, as she ran, she busted a wood panel in the bridge. She fell through and went tumbling down, down, down, She felt as if she would never reach the ground, A second later, she reached the creek bottom with a splash. She looked up and realized she had fallen about four feet. She was covered in five layers all soaked through with icy water.
She tried to get up but realized that both her ankles were twisted and one of her lungs had collapsed. So she lay there in the cold muck under the beat up bridge. The pig snorted at her from above.
The woman lay there hoping the beast would not come down to her. She knew that pigs could be extremely dangerous and have killed humans before.
She lay as still as she could hoping that the poor-sighted animal wouldn't smell her and that the mud had covered over her scent. So the woman lay there for about an hour until the pig finally realized it had better things to do.