Girl With Fake Smile

Chapter 13

I wrap burey gho into box covered by red shining paper. I wrote, I love you Namgay . I love you so much that  I can't stay without you. With this, I smile and keep the gift besides my bed. I stare at box for some minutes untill I fall asleep.

I open my eyes feeling eager to visit Namgay house. I can't sleep well whole night thinking about how lucky I was to have Namgay in my life. As soon as I open my eyes, I look into mobile hoping Namgay would be fist to wish me on my birthday but there  wasn't .

Assuming that he might be planning to wish me as a surprise, I rush into washroom to  take a shower. I dress into grey sweater and blank jeans. I apply  cream on my face.

With  happiness, all over me,  I walk towards his house.  I enter into his house. I thought of knocking before entering though it's  already open, but I enter without knocking thinking I will give him surprise visit. When I enter, house was calm with no noise.

There is no one in sitting room. I search him until I heard noise from his room. I  tip toe making sure  not to let him know I was at his house. I thought of scaring him by jumping suddenly but my plan all shattere once I saw him .

He was there sitting on bed with his ex girlfriend, Choden . As soon as I saw him,  I threw present that I had wrap for him on bed besides them, which made both of them to turn their attention on me.

Choden was looking at me as if I lose which made me to feel embarrass as well as tears to fall down. I saw there Namgay looking into me with  his mouth wide open. He was trying to explain me  something but I don't care. I don't want any excuse from him.

I rush out of his house still crying and not knowing what to do. I had finally decide to give my heart to him but, there he was enjoying with his ex girlfriend cheating on me. I thought god has given me one person whom i can cherish my entire life but I was mistaken. All I got is to pain.

I don't know why God had decided my life in that way. I want happiness in every moment that I spend but all I get is pain. Because of anger, I didn't saw anything on my way, everything was blur. I close my door when I reach home and cry myself. I'm tired of everything.

I remember how my mom would help me to feel better whenever I'm down and not happy. I wish her to have by my side when I'm in this condition. I really miss her. I cried until I feel liltle better. I feel like I have lose everything and I don't have hope.

 But I thought again to myself that, I should stay strong. By any means I have to move on.  Suffering is the way of life and if there wasn't any suffering there won't be any charm. Thinking that way, I wipe my  tears and search if there were any vacancy so that I can do job.

I won't be able to continue my study as I have to feed myself. If I study I won't be able to earn money and also I don't have enough money. I search for job nearby but for now I didn't get any job. After few hours of searching job, I saw there is vacancy but it's in  Thimphu . I have to move if I get but I didn't care about anything. All I want is job.

If I get, I have to work in hotel. After few minutes of watching television, I sleep. I wake up with the sound of my phone ringing. I thought who it would be, calling at this early. Still closing my eyes, I accept the call in sleepy voice.  My eyes widened when I hear that I got job. I look into my watch which shows its 9:30.

I got up suddenly feeling happy that I got job. I thanks the stranger that is calling me for offering me a job. I wake up feeling excited as I got job but my happiness disappear once I remember how I will move to another place as I don't have anyone who I know there. I stay at Pemagatshel  in one of the remove place called Nangkor.

But since I have to move to capital, I was worried about coping up with the situation there. Still, I have no choice as I need job by any means. Since the one who offer me told me to be ready, by tomorrow or day after tomorrow, I have to leave to Thimphu. I pack my belongings I will need.

I have made everything ready to move soon. I even get bus tricket  for tomorrow at 5 a.m. I sleep early thinking that I have to move early.

I wake up next day with the alarm sound which I had set at 4 a.m. I wake up getting ready to move. I wait for bus, which arrive at  around 5:10 a.m. I enter into bus. I can see different places as I continue to move further. Today I have to stay at phuentsholing.

I may reach there at around 7 p.m. which means today I will have long journey. Luckily I have my old friend, which is from our village there at phuentsholing where I will spend overnight. I even ask her to get bus tricket which will move to Thimphu, the next day.

As I enter Ngalam gate, after few minutes of traveling, I lost my mobile network. Because  I have to move almost more than half way through assam. There  Bhutanese network doesn't work until I reach phuentsholing.

All people in bus are new face for me. Around 1 p.m. bus stop at one of the Indian hotel so that we can have lunch. But I didn't get out of bus, becaus I don't know Indian language ( both Hindi and Nepali) nor I don't have appetite to eat anything.  I stay silient in bus  plugging earphone in my ears listening to music.

 We start our journey again after, around 30 minutes. Since I haven't been to any place other than my dzongkhag, I enjoy every view I see through bus. Also, I got seat near window which I like. When we travel through assam, I can see many Indian were working in their field, mostly harvesting their crops as it's almost winter.

 places were plain unlike Bhutan . At first I was surprised by how plain there places were unlike us. The vehicles were moving at fastest speed which made me to chant mantras out of fear. Besides me, there was a old grandma who chew doma time to time. I hate the smell of doma which made me to feel like vomiting. Still I pretend like nothing was bothering me.

I was fallen asleep in bus until I knew bus stop to move.  When I knew it, we already had reach at bus  parking. I ask my friend to  visit at bus parking because I don't know any place nor I have experience  living in town.

I saw my friend, Yangden standing near bus, which I came.She was wearing red coat with black jeans hanging her hair through shoulder which is long and painted in red.  As soon as I meet her eyes, I wave her.

I carry my bag  and I was worried how I will carry my bag as it is heavy and my friend doesn't have vehicle. Soon she say "local" to one of the taxi driver which I open my mouth in suprise. Soon we enter into taxi wondering how comes here even taxi services were there, unlike my village.  

Soon we reach at her place.  I asked how much should we pay, but she insists me that she will pay for taxi.  I let her to pay after fade up with arguing about paying taxi fees.

I enter into her house where her husband was sitting on sofa wearing black  hoodie and black half pant. She told me the place she's is staying is called lower market. The whole town looks nice with different colours of light sparkling like stars in the sky.  Her husband is a person who didn't talk much. We had dinner and after dinner I went to bed as I'm tired of long journey .

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