Open Book

Sorry Not Sorry

I hope you don't think this is one of those made up sappy boo-who stories of how your life sucks; and if that if what you are looking for, go ahead, pick something else to read, just know this is all true. It's my life. And it's 100% real. Sorry if I offend you in any way, sorry not sorry.

My name is Ryan, and I'm a 14 year old girl who goes to a little country school that nobody knows even exists. I'm in the school band, I am a bit of a nobody and not the most appealing to the eyes, I'm not ugly, but I'm defiantly no runway model, which I guess I'm ok with; I mean, it's pretty hard to watch from the sides when everybody is right there on the sides with you. I don't have many friends, but the one I do have are ones that -so far- are worth keeping. I'm a total book nerd and I love books, and riding my bike. According to all of the popular kids, and now my locker, I'm a wallflower. There is a lot of other boring things of my life to get into, but I'm not trying to kill you with boredom.

Okay, so you are probably wondering what I mean by the whole "according to all the popular kids, and now my locker. . ." So here we go; my dad usually drives me into school on his way to work. Nothing wrong with that, right? Well, most people who get driven in have an alright reason, like "I always miss the bus" or "my bus ride is to long, there is no way I'm getting up that early!" My reason is simply this; I get bullied on my bus. Tina and Jessica, my neighbours and ex-best friends, got really mad at me over a course of about two years. It was over stupid little things, once, I sat with my cousin (who has now graduated, leaving me all alone) at lunch, and Tina and Jessica completely flipped out at me. Things like that for a while for them, well, I can tell you they don't like that. Anyways so they absolutely hate me now, and they are practically the directors of the "Ryan Hate Club- free cookies if you do something mean or rude to Ryan Hope!" Not to mention they are head cheerleaders (they won't do anything without each other, they may be twins, but attached at the hip doesn't even begin to describe them). The two of them were recruiting a new student to their little club/the dark side, and this new kid decided to spray paint a flower on my locker. You're probably thinking, "hey, a flower is not that bad," and you're right, it's not, it's actually a pretty good flower, but underneath the flower it simply says "Wallflower." I am really sick of the fact that in order to be "cool" at my school, you need Tina and Jessica's stamp of approval, and in order to get that, you need to something horrible to me. Plus, it seems as it the worse the trick you play on me, they higher your status is with them. I never feel like I'm treated like a person at school, and home isn't much better either.

Right now I'm sitting in the principal's office, again. My dad says that I need to start "smartening up" and to "act my own age" but he is never home to "help me become a better me" so I don't see why he should be complaining really. Back to why I'm in the principal's office; I enjoy "pranking" the kids who prank me first, and a few innocent bystanders as well, anyways, there was this new girl who moved here recently, and was home-schooled until the new school year started, and nobody really knew she was there. Of course I did, and over the summer, for a while, I thought that maybe, just maybe, I had a friend. Then Tina and Jessica meet her on the first day on the bus -so I heard- and obviously, they sucked her in like she was a puddle of water and they were a dry sponge. Her name is Sarah, and she flowered my locker. And she is the principal's niece, so classically, when I go in to talk to the principal, I'm the bad guy. Our conversation went something like this;
"Miss Hope, do you know why you are here?"
"Yes Sir"
"Care to explain then?"
"Do you want the full explanation, or...."
"I don't care, just get on with it!"
"Ok, I'm sorry sir. Yesterday when I came to school...."
Flashback
My dad drops me off at school as normal, I say good bye, drive safe, love you, all that usual stuff that you are pretty much required to say to your parents. After I see him drive down the old dirt road to his work, I turn around and face the school I had been dreading returning to all summer. 'Here we go again' I thought to myself. Walking down the hallway I realize once again how alone I am, at least at school. I was thinking about my little sister, Quinn. She is the sweetest and most adorable 10 year old I know, and according to some people, I'm super overprotective of her, which I am totally okay with, dad is always at work and mom died about four months ago. So really all we have are each other. Anyways, I got to my locker, see the flower on my locker, and the wheels in my head started turning, I can picture exactly what it is I want to do this time, and I know exactly who it was, because the girl I thought was my friend, was snickering in the corner with Tina and Jessica, pointing at me. I felt betrayed, but at the same time, it was nothing new, and I don't know why I let it get to me. I guess this time it was different, I felt like I should have at least one friend, they have everyone on their side, can't I have one "team member"? Anyways, I decided what I wanted to do; I knew how much she loved horses and horseback riding, so I decided to "switch out" her saddle with my own. She had recently gotten a brand new one, and it was beautiful, but it looked exactly like mine did when I first got it. Over the summer, we would ride together, but she would never let me touch her saddle. I knew that because my dad always picks me up after school that I would get home much before Sarah would, I would have enough time to switch the saddles and be home before she saw me at her house.
End of flashback
I explained that to him (although, I left out the majority of it).
"Sir, I don't understand though." I said once I was done.
"And what is that?" He was getting pretty annoyed by now.
"Why am I getting in trouble for something I did at home? I mean, shouldn't my dad-" he cut me off.
"No, she is my niece and that is close enough to home." He snapped.
"But I was always told-" I started again.
"Ms. Hope, that is enough! It doesn't matter! Show some respect!"
"But sir..." I complain.
"I will expect to see you in detention tomorrow afternoon, and for the rest of the week. Anything else you would like to contribute?" I knew he was trying to find a way to get me into more trouble.
"No sir, sorry sir." I answered in a monotone voice, not really caring.
"Good, you are free to go, have a good day." He called after me. 'As if' I thought.