When unfortunately no one cares about you. (So you think). I was between a rock and a hard place it seemed like. It felt like I had no one left to talk to. The picking and people constantly having something rude to say hurt. It hurt like hell. But I'm nobody. Because if I was somebody then maybe people would respect me more but let me no get my hopes up because I know that it will NEVER happen. You just a smile or a simple Hi would make my day. But like I said I'm nobody. I had a rough child Hood. But the pictures of my in the family photo album say different. Well it all started when I was 9 years old. 1 month and 11 days before my birthday a special person in my life passed away. Yea it was a sad day but when she passed away the days seemed to be slower. The time was slower. Basically EVERYTHING WAS SLOWER. There were days where I didn't even left my room. But I hid my feelings because I didn't want to seem like I was depressed for attention because That's what everyone took it as. Yeah it hurt
In fact in hurt so much That's when I started to beat on myself Ever since fourth grade (I was 10 in fourth grade and I'm 14 now). I didn't know how to cope with the pain so I started taking it out on myself. Because other people don't deserve to be treated badly for no reason. I've been hurting for a while now. But of course no one knows that. Oh wait...they just don't fucking care. At one point some of my pain started to turn into anger so that when my anger problems started to kick in. Yay time for the good stuff (not). Anyways I started to get hit on and yelled at a lot ever time I had a melt down. But That's okay right? I started talking to a wall literally because I had no one to talk to. And still don't because it's always brush it off let it go this and that like wtf were you even listening to me? Like I'm sitting her pouring my heart out and That's all you have to say. But then people wanna get frustrated when I can't tell them what need from them when im depressed. Well im sorry but you just dont understand.
