*two weeks after*
IV: continuation from part 3
Way back in 23rd of February, this day was so hysterical. I have sleepless nights and days where I don't even eat. I was so consumed by my own thoughts and was having hallucinations. I don't understand myself and my life. I was terrified because of the happenings.
Since I was also conscious of my health, I decided to go the nearest healthcare to check my health. I went out my house without asking for my Dad's permission. I'm scared he might get mad at me.
*at the health center*
"Hello, where's the doctor?" I raised my eyebrows and finding for the doctor.
"Oh, sorry.. you have to fill this up first" the assistant replied.
I wrote my name, age, and even my email.
After I fill the paper up, I decided to sit down. I realized everyone was looking at me. I feel uncomfortable and terrified with how my body is feeling while they were staring at me.
*3 hours later*
"Uhm- Excuse me, when is my turn?" I asked the assistant and wondering why it took so long to call my name.
"Sorry, you have to come back here on monday." She replied.
"Oh ok, why did I have to wait for so long if my turn is on monday?" I was confused because there were at least 8 names listed but weren't checked.
I realized I was dead- the names being checked were already called by God. It means I wasn't in His list. I don't think I am dead already, this must be my second chance to live in order to glorify God's name.
I don't understand what I am feeling. I was totally confused and I don't know what anything I could do to relieve myself. This is the worst day indeed.
I messaged my friend, John, to hang out but it turns out he was busy and couldn't have a time to see me. I also contacted my cousin, Romeo, to visit his house but he wasn't around.
I went out of the clinic and run as fast as i could. No one was looking for me even my sister and my father.
This is my death, I am spiritually dead but physically alive. I was paranoid- my perception is way too deep and unbelievable in comparison to other people.
Nobody listened to me when I was down. They always told me that it's gonna be okay but it turns out I am suffering more.
*As Amelia is pondering some thoughts about the tragedy, she is writing down to make a poem in her notebook to express the screamings of her mind. She also dreamt of creating her thoughts, heartbeating, pain, grieve, mournfulness, regrets, and the lack of reassurance into words*
Felt a temporary euphoria,
from receiving unexpected bestowal.
A bliss and everlastingness each one's aspiration and bourne.
Nevertheless, concealed underneath with pain,
melancholy nor woebegone;
Vast uncertainty imbued in terror and fierce.
Hard to ignore,
you tremble a compelling trauma.
An occurence from cruelty and onslaught. I'm stuck in the feeling of distress.
Can not find a way out of this
from my chest.
It doest not vanish.
On dull mornings and night,
Drifted far within.
My light in favour absconded and escaped. Blown away by a freezing cold wind.
Lost in wilderness.
The feeling is fallibly persistent.
It wasn't my choice to endure the pain.
But my thoughts and emotions.
Were drown and stifle in its state.
Can not remove the tangle are we taught
to afflict severity?
No chase, no peace of mind.
Loss of raise beyond thy glorious.
Though never shall embrace thy imperfection
Unaware to expediently relinquish the constituent
YOU ARE READING
Inception- Chasing the wind
FantasyA girl named Amelia, her mind is full of hysteria and she became paranoid. She begun to feel helpless- the world seems to be against her but the thing is- she made herself turn into her own enemy and she begun to neglect herself (her sanity). After...
