Distant Memories

TW THERE WILL BE MENTION LS OF SEWERSLIDE, BLOOD, AND DEPRESSION!! If this makes you uncomfortable or you may be triggered in any way please click off.
Thank you all for reading.
Please I just realized how uncomfortable this entire story is-

I clutched my bag tightly, staring down at the small sprout before me. It marked our first anniversary, when we came here to spend the day together and planted it. Today is our fourth anniversary. This. This was the place everything started and abruptly ended.

*Flashback*

Message from: Baby 🥰🤞
Hey.... wyd....?

Me:
Nothing why? I was actually just gonna ask if you are free tomorrow! I got us some movie tickets!

Message from: Baby 🥰🤞
Awww I cant.... im so sorry babe i wish I could but I have.... work....

Me:
Oh... ok? I thought you were off tomorrow though?

Message from: Baby 🥰🤞
Im working an extra shift im so sorry maybe this Friday?

Me:
Yeah... sure! Thats fine!

Message from: Baby 🥰🤞
I can stop by tonight with ice cream tho 😋

Me:
YES ❤️

Message from: Baby 🥰🤞
Ok! See you then! Love ya! ❤️

I sighed looking up from my phone. I stuck my phone in my back pocket and decided to walk over to our newly planted tree. I wanted to feel a little less lonely. Whenever I came there, it made me feel special. Like we had something so unbreakable. Something that tied us together for life, it would never go away. I began ducking through the brush to our spot. It was just a small open area with nothing but our  freshly planted seed, resting beneath the soil. I looked down, stepping over a large tree root. I'm here. Breathing a sigh of relief, I looked up to witness the most horrifying scene right in front of my eyes.

"OH MY- NONONONONO!" I screamed rushing forward. I was already sobbing at what I was witnessing. Blood. Lots of it. Soaked into the depths of the soil. And then....*insert name of lover here lmaoo* lying beside our tree...

My knees crashed so hard into the small puddle of blood it spattered on my clothes and face. I was violently shaking them. (By "them" I mean the lover) Pounding on their chest with all my quivering fists could manage. Nothing.

I was hyperventilating so badly I passed out atop their body after a few minutes. I wake up to raindrops pitter pattering my eyelids, and suddenly all the memories are flooding back to me. My eyes fly open, and I grow pale as I feel the cold lifeless body laying beneath me. I jump up, now reliving all my prior nightmares.

Suddenly the glint of a metal object laying near my lover's hand catches my eye, and I realize its a razor. (The small kind that ppl use to harm themselves) My whole body is frozen in fear. I can't move. My body just shuts down staring down the object. I stumble over and snatch it up, noticing the slight scabs that had begun to form on their wrist, as I bend down. I jump back and continue backing away shocked beyond belief. My back slams into a tree, shuddering me back into consciousness. That's when my mind goes blank, all I can remember are my ears ringing. My vision is clouded and I'm struggling to maintain balance. I realize I've fallen to the dirt, on my hands and knees staring at the pale gray body before me. I just stare through my blurry vision. Im on my hands and knees begging. Begging for forgiveness, for this to be a nightmare, for them to jump up and yell, "APRIL FOOLSS!". They don't, and this certainly is no dream.

I hear birds flapping their wings and flying away in fear. Then I realize I'm screaming. I'm not sure how long I've been screaming, but I just now noticed. I'm just screaming, my forehead collecting plenty of splinters from the soaking dirt. I'm pounding my fist against the soil and screaming into it. I look up into the stars and scream till I cant. Till my voice goes completely hoarse, but its still not enough for all this pain, so I bawl. I weep till my tears form a pile of salt to lift me up, allowing the heat of the stars to obliterate me.

Take me away from this awful, traumatizing nightmare.

I don't know what to do. Im sitting beside my now dead fiance, back placed against a tree, sobbing, every inch of me soaked in tears, rain, and blood. I'm also in the middle of the woods, at night, by our anniversary seed that has now been heavily nurtured with my dead fiancé's blood. My voice so hoarse I might as well have broken a world record while I'm at it. I am staring at their pale body laying in the rain. I then realize I haven't inspected it yet. I haven't dared too. I crawl over and touch their hand with the tip of my fingertips. I flinch at how cold their hand is. I grasp their hand as if it's the last time I ever will, and lightly kiss the back of it.

Why? You didn't tell me... Why did you do this? WHY!? AWNSER ME.... WHY?! WHAT DID I EVER DO TO DESERVE THIS!

"AND PEOPLE HAVE THE NERVE TO ASK WHY I DONT BELIEVE IN GOD!? BECAUSE IF HE REALLY EXISTED HE WOULDN'T HAVE LET THIS HAPPEN!!" I screamed.
"Why...?" My voice cracked and my body weakened with tears once more.

I squint through the blur of tears and notice their left fist is curled up. So tightly their palm looked to've been bleeding. I eventually manage to pry open their fingers enough to grab what lay inside. I feel...a piece of paper? I snatch it in between two fingers and pull it out.

I slowly open up the folded paper.

Oh my-

I know I'm not ready for this. My heart shatters once again, as I see, its my wedding vows. When we planted the tree, we also put our future vows in a locked box and buried it beneath the soil. I managed to read through the first line without throwing up, but either way, I am now back to square one. Shock and fear running a marathon in my brain once again.

Partner POV:

I tumbled to the ground. I could feel myself becoming lightheaded.

I wanna see what could've been. Please.... I don't wanna die.... not yet please... This was a mistake I don't wanna die anymore! Let me die with you. Let us grow old and die together. You'll be here any second, I know it. Save me...

I waited another 20 seconds, still praying you'll arrive. Then, reality hit me. Im actually going to die here. I never picture it'd be like THIS. Me, lying beside our fading memory of a sprout. I managed to hold my eyes open a little longer, when I finally noticed the tears blurring my vision. My long, numb slender fingers, still feeling around the dirt for it. I felt it and grabbed it. With my last ounce of strength I managed to bring the paper into my field of vision, and whispered aloud, my partner's would've beens. Could've beens. Should've beens. Halfway through, I realize what I've just done to you. I can never forgive myself for causing you this much pain and I'm sorry. I just wanted...to at least die knowing how much our love meant.....

*end scene*

I was now tearing up over the memories again, as I clutched my chest tightly. Attempting to muffle the heaving pound of my shattered heart. Once my tears had flushed out and singed their way down my cheeks, I decided to continue my normal routine every anniversary, and began kneeling in front of our sapling of a tree. I kissed three of fingers and tapped around each inch of the small tree. I transferred each kiss into this soil. Into you, hoping you'd feel the warmth of my love brandish your beloved heart. I wept into the soil as well, hoping each droplet sinks within you. I also hope you feel guilty. I hate that about myself nowadays. I almost feel obligated to burden you with my heartbreak, loneliness, and utter disarray following what you did. I want to show you how much you meant to me. I want to show you that I will never truly understand your last actions, nor let you go without a fight.

I barely managed to stand as my legs wobbled with my washed away tears. Even so, I stood tall, waved goodbye, and walked away with a sad smile knowing I'd be back soon.

Holy shit this was long! I'm so sorry yall! Idek what I was thinking writing this..like what. I have no idea what this even is and it shoulda stayed in the drafts 💀💀

Anyways~ Hope y'all enjoyed! Have a great rest of your night/day! Im always just a pm away! Bye lovelies! Stay safe, wear a mask, and BE HAPPYYY!! 🥰💕