What The Heart Wants (Stereo Kicks/ James Graham)

Chapter 76

I woke up the next morning snuggled against James. I smiled at the feel and smell of him. He always smells best in the morning, I don't know why. When I sat up, I noticed that we were all scattered around Casey's bedroom. Me and James were in one bed, Tom and Barclay were in the bed below us, Jake was with Casey in the next bunk over, Charlie and Reece were beneath them, and Chris was in the beanbag chair. We all must have fallen asleep last night during the movie, because I don't even remember watching the movie. I remember eating dinner and then I must have passed out because that's it. I slowly reached over and grabbed James's phone -since mine was still broken- and checked the time. We still had an hour before we had to get up, but I was already awake, so I carefully climbed out of bed and went to the bathroom and started straightening my hair. It took me 45 minutes to do my hair, and then I went and picked out my outfit for the day. I decided to dress nice today because Layla and I are going shopping after choreography, which I'm really looking forward to. Out of all the girls I've met so far, she would definitely be considered my favorite. "Why are you awake?" I looked up and seen Caden wiping the sleep from his eyes. "I could ask you the same thing." I said as I looked through my shoes, trying to find a particular pair of boots. "Can't really sleep very well since all this happened." He pointed to his damaged upper body. "It's gotta be getting easier though right?" I asked, still fumbling through my shoes. "A little bit, but not much." He shrugged and sat down on my bed. "You ok? You seem kind of....frazzled." He asked. "I'm fine. I would be better if I could find the damn boots I'm looking for." I said, annoyed. "You're a liar. Tell me what's wrong." He said and patted the spot next to him, signaling he wanted me to sit down and talk. "Caden I'm fine. I just..." should I tell him? I need to tell someone. And it's not like I can talk to Layla about the wet dream I had about her boyfriend. "I may or may not have had an innapropriet dream about Casey the other night, but it's no big deal. It was just a dream." I said, hoping he wouldn't react too dramatically. "You what?" He asked, clearly shocked and confused by this information. "Shh!" I turned and put my hand over his mouth. I removed it when he licked my hand. "Ugh. You're so gross." I said wiping my hand off on his shorts. "I'm not the one having sexual dreams about my ex." He argued. "I told you, it's not a big deal. And he's not my ex, we were never exclusive." I said, returning my attention to the pile of shoes in front of me. How the hell did I even manage to bring all these? "Ok, but you have a boyfriend, and are in a very serious relationship. You shouldn't be having those dreams about other guys." He said. "No shit Sherlock. Why do you think I'm trying to stay away from Casey?" I snapped. "That's not a very smart plan. Especially when you live together and are in the same band." He said. "Yes. Thank you for reminding me how useless my plan is. If you have any helpful ideas, I'm listening, but until then, ignoring him is my only option." I sighed as I finally found the boots I was looking for. I walked over to my bed, sat down, and put them on. "I have an idea." Caden said. "What?" I sighed and ran a hand through my hair. "Have sex with James." He said. "Ha ha, I know I need to get laid. That joke is old." I said and stood up from my bed. "I'm serious. Have you ever though that maybe the reason you're having that dream is because you want to do it, and the reason Casey is the guy who showed up in your dream is because you know he's willing to do it with you." He said quietly. "James is just as willing." I said. "Yes, but there are no strings with Casey. James is your boyfriend and first real love. Are you scared that once you and James take that step, he won't want you anymore?" He asked. "What? That's ridiculous." I shook his words out of my head. "Is it though? Don't forget, I was there through the Zach stuff. But believe me when I say, James is nothing like Zach. You don't have to be afraid that James is using you. In this situation, Casey is irrelevant. He just took the place of James, the guy you love, and Zach, the guy who broke you. You could have seen anybody in that dream and it would still mean the same thing. James is the one Aria. Don't let your past keep you from living the life you want." He gave me a small smile and then went back to the empty bedroom. When the hell did my seventeen year old brother get so smart? Maybe I am afraid that if I give myself to James he'll just throw me away after he gets what he wants. But Caden was right when he said James is nothing like Zach. James loves me, and I love him. And me and Casey are just friends. I know that. I just as easily could have seen Jake or Barclay's face in that dream. I was just scared. But I'm not scared anymore. I'm more confident, now than ever, that James is the right guy. And that's why I'm getting us a hotel room for Saturday night after the show.