Within These Shadows || Park Chanyeol/Do Kyungsoo || Book 1

22

Standing a couple of steps from the entrance to the backyard, Jay ran the same words over and over, through her head. 'Should I go? Or I shouldn't? I'm not sure if I want to, but I know I have to.'

She rubbed her left palm against the fabric of her jeans, wiping the sweat off. Closing her eyes shut, taking a deep breath in, she started walking towards the backyard. There, on a bench a couple of yards from her, sat Kyungsoo; his back faced towards her, while he gazed off far into the fiery red horizon. She took small steps towards him, still unsure of her actions. He didn't notice her coming in; he was still replaying the incident with Jay over and over in his head. Despite thinking of every possible reason, he couldn't exactly pinpoint why she had gotten so angry abruptly. He didn't like being misunderstood, and kept hoping that she no longer misunderstood him after listening to his reasonings.

He broke out of his daze when he felt someone sit beside him. Turning to his right to see who the person was, his eyes widened and mouth fell agape. He didn't expect to see Jay; didn't think that they'd be friends any longer. Friends; she was a friend for him, comically.

Jay didn't say a single word. She looked at Kyungsoo's brown eyes that looked darker than a moonless night. She didn't know if he understood how sorry she felt because of what she did. But she hoped that he did. Despite everything, Kyungsoo was someone she could connect well with. Even though most of their conversations were a war of wit and words, there was a friendship somewhere in there; a friendship she had started to like.

She blinked once before looking down at Kyungsoo's right hand; where she had held earlier, it had started to bruise slightly. She had expected that to happen; this wasn't the first time she had bruised someone's hand. She took the cooling gel pack that she had brought with her, took Kyungsoo's hand and held it lightly, and wrapped the pack around the bruised area gently. Her eyes remained focused on his palm, he had beautiful slim fingers, fingers that had callouses from holding the pen uncountable times.

Kyungsoo's gaze hadn't faltered; his dark eyes were still glued to Jay's eyes, which were focused on his hand. He didn't know what was going on; couldn't comprehend, why Jay was doing whatever she was doing. He thought she was mad at him, and yet, there she was, tending to his injury. Was she not mad at him anymore? Or was this her way of apologising?

He grabbed whatever time he had before the silence would break, to study her face. She had a yellowish tone to her skin; was neither fair, nor dark. Rather, there was a kind of paleness to her. Her skin wasn't all even and smooth. Kyungsoo could see the small red bumps that had started to grow on her left cheek. Was it because of stress? Her eyelashes were not long, like many girls desired. But they were a brilliant shade of brown, just like her hair. Her hair...which she always kept up in a top knot bun. Thinking back to the past few months, he had never seen her hair untied. He wondered how long Jay's hair was. Her lips were a darker shade, chapped here and there. It was clear that she didn't take her time in taking care of herself, but was quite comfortable with it; was comfortable in her own skin.

"I'm sorry," Jay finally said, breaking the long silence. Neither her gaze broke away from Kyungsoo's hand, nor his broke away from her face. When Kyungsoo said nothing in reply, she continued, "For what I did today."

Jay turned the cool gel pack on the other side and wrapped it around Kyungsoo's wrist again. His upturned hand remained on her thigh, which she was very conscious of. However, there was no question of letting her fears control her mind again. She let it happen once already, she wouldn't let it happen again.

"Now you know, how broken I really am, and how much my temper is beyond my control." Jay's eyes remained locked on Kyungsoo's hand. "Thinking back to that moment in the library, I now know you didn't mean anything that I accused you of meaning. However, you can't also deny that you were too curious about me and my life."